You're Not You

Michelle Wildgen's debut novel about the relationship between an ALS patient and the young woman who is her carekeeper is well-wrought and raises important questions about such diverse topics as incurable diseases, gourmet food, and marital fidelity. It also very much has a sense of place in Madison, Wisconsin. Like many other readers, I am looking forward to future novels by this gifted writer.

You're Not You is an wonderful debut novel that holds your attention from page one until long after you have finished reading. The book develops the relationship between Bec, a college student enrolled in a major she finds shallow and uninteresting and Kate, a successful woman entering the final stages of ALS. Hired as an inexperienced caretaker for Kate, as Bec takes on more responsibility for Kate's life, they become immersed in physical and mental intimacy to the point where Bec sometimes needs to remind herself that she is to speak for Kate, not herself. Wildgen provides a compassionate but unflinching perspective about the end of a life, made bittersweet by the juxtaposition of Kate teaching Bec how to cook gourmet meals--lifegiving food that Kate herself can not eat. All the reviews that say You're Not You is an amazing effort for a first novel are correct. This is a wonderful, well written story and I hope we see more from Michelle Wildgen.

I am truly astonished that this is Ms. Wildgen's first novel. To have such an intelligent, sophistcated book that is also so accessible and non-pretentious is such a breath of fresh air for me. This book, more then anything, made me grateful. Grateful for my health, my family, my friends, my triumphs and my defeats. It helps you to remember that life is what you make it. To watch Kate embrace life as she does should remind us all that no matter what hand we are dealt, life is only what we make it. And Bec is that innocent in all of us, slowly discovering the sometimes harsh reality of life and humanity. I eagerly await Ms. Wildgen's sophmore effort for both entertainment and for what it may remind me about myself and the people and world around me.

Michelle Wildgen's "You're Not You" features Bec, a twenty-one year old college student in Wisconsin who has given little serious thought to her future. Bec is juggling an unsatisfying job as a waitress with sporadic attendance at her college courses and a highly charged relationship with a married professor. Bec makes the life-altering decision to apply for a position as part-time caregiver for Kate Norris, a thirty-six year old woman who is suffering from a rapidly progressive case of ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease. Kate's husband, Evan, does a great deal for his wife, but when he is unavailable, Kate needs help with such tasks as shopping, personal hygiene, dressing, and taking in nourishment. Initially, Bec is intimidated by the challenge of being responsible for another person's well being. Wildgen frankly and unflinchingly describes the day-to-day life of a woman with a degenerative illness that drains her, not only of her strength but also of her independence. In exhaustive detail, the author shows the tremendous physical and emotional toll that ALS exacts from both patient and caregivers. Kate "had pockets of movement left.... Her fingers were strong enough to manipulate a remote control or a simple switch if it was placed beneath her hand." However, almost all of the routines that healthy people take for granted--eating, getting ready for bed, and taking a stroll--Kate cannot accomplish without assistance. Kate speaks indistinctly, so Bec must learn to decipher what she is saying and translate her words for others. In addition, Bec is terrified that she will drop Kate as she moves her in and out of bed, the bathtub, or the wheelchair. Fortunately, "You're Not You" is not merely a depressing tale about a lovely woman's decline. It is a complex and thoughtful look at how life's vicissitudes affect the way we think about ourselves and relate to others. After working for Kate over a period of months, Bec realizes that the older woman is having a profound influence on her. Regardless of her infirmities, Kate retains her dignity, courage, and self-respect and Bec cannot help but admire this special individual who has lost so much, but refuses to surrender emotionally while she still has the ability to make decisions for herself. Kate jokes around with Bec, encourages her talent for cooking and baking, and gradually becomes the older sister that Bec never had. Soon, Bec identifies so closely with Kate that she has difficulty maintaining her professional distance. "You're Not You" is sensual, literate, and written with an exquisite attention to the telling detail that breathes life into a scene or a character. It is a profoundly moving and meaningful debut novel.

I'm shocked that You're Not You is a first novel. Michelle Wildgen has written a truly touching book that never dips into sappy or preachy (which can happen in novels involving grave illness). I found myself laughing out loud at times, while I was drawn deeper and deeper into the evolving friendship between Bec and Kate. Wildgen knows her food - the descriptions of Bec and Kate's meals are beautiful - and her witty tone helped balance the tone in a very artful way. I can't wait to read Wildgen's next novel!