Your Two-Year-Old: Terrible or Tender

This book is part of a series (Your .... Year Old) that is by far the best of all the parenting books I have read. If you are at your wit's end because of some disagreeable behavior your toddler is exhibiting, the odds are it is covered in this book and considered normal for the age. The author explains the reasons why toddlers tend to do these behaviors, and then gives you excellent tools to avoid instigating the behavior, and to manage the behavior if it does occur. My children are now healthy teenagers who are happy, loving, sharing, and respectful people. They ask me for advice on what to do when they become parents. The successful relationships we enjoy today are rooted in the methods we learned in these books. The only other books I consider must haves on your shelf are Children: The Challenge (by Rudolf Dreikurs) and Siblings Without Rivalry (By Adele Faber)

This book is great at describing child behavior for this turbulent year. Its strength is in giving comfort to parents that they are probably doing a pretty good job. Yes, everyone tells you twos are hard, but this book spells out exactly how and why. Really leaves you with a sense of comfort that the spoiled egocentric behavior is not lifelong, but a necessary development.The book does not claim to offer a solution or be the perfect expert (thank you!), but gives a few suggestions to parents to get through this period of development. I left my reading of it feeling much better about my parenting job. Some of the language is dated (as are most classics), but I hang onto the statement, "every mother of a 2 1/2 year old needs plenty of breaks." Although one commentator questions the author's suggestion to limit choices at 2 1/2, she seems to limit that to this tough period where the child has a lot of new things happening. Limiting choices really helped in our case. I recommend this book for any parent with a two year old.

During his years as director of the child development institute at Yale University, Arnold Gesell pioneered techniques for observation of infants, children, and adolescents. He emphasized the kinds of norms or behaviors found to be associated with certain ages. Gesell is the father of developmental norms. This book, as well as the others, are developmentally based. Many books out there are not. This book is terrific for 1st time parents and others who simply don't know what is normal behavior.

Yes, this series of books can be a bit out of date in places. But if the reader recognizes and accommodates that, these are still -- by far -- the best books of their kind on the market. Like the others in this series, this book addresses the timeless issues of appropriate developmental milestones, including cognitive abilities, interaction with others, attention span, language recognition, interpersonal relationships, etc. The text is reasonably neutral and instructive on hot topics such as discipline, sleep habits, and diet.We have found this series of books to be an outstanding resource. If you look in the back of the popular Doris Herman book about preschool, you will find that she does, too.

This series of books (Your "X" Year Old) is a helpful reference for the parent. While in certain places the information seems dated or offbeat, generally the books are very helpful. They are at their best when recounting detailed observations of what "typical" two year olds say and do. Suggestions for "techniques" of getting through daily tasks with the two year old are helpful. A needed reassurance that neither you, nor your child, is abnormal.