Your Three-Year-Old: Friend or Enemy

This is not one of those "do X to solve your child's Y problem." It basically just lets you know what is going on with your 3 and 3.5 year old. The researchers observed 1000's of three year olds over several years and this book is the culmination of their research - in an easy to read format, as well. They do offer general advice - take it with a grain of salt because some of it is REALLY outdated. But the insights on what is going on, what to expect, what's "normal", and the list of toys and books appropriate for three year olds is invaluable. AND, at under 150 pages it is a quick read (since most parents of three year olds don't have much time to do so).

Other reviews have cited a lack of helpful hints in this book. Please know before buying, this is not a "how to" book. You won't find formulas for parenting. What you will find is an excellent study on the behavior and development of your child at any given age. This book is outdated in its look and in some of the scenarios presented. However, the observations and information laid out are timeless. A three year old is a three year - in 1972 or 2022. I see parenting as an adventure and a challenge, where each child is unique. It's my job to tailor the rearing of my child to suit him and these books help me do just that. This series has made me a more informed parent. For instance, in the 2 year old book I read that children at this age have a very hard time sticking to a decision. They want a drink, so you give them a drink. You then hear, "I don't want a drink!". So you take it back. Whereupon your child wails that he wants his drink. This can go on for an exasperating long while. The more informed I am on what's age appropriate behavior, the more I'm able to separate my reactions from the emotional frustration that might otherwise erupt. I can then spend more time thinking rationally about how I can help him through this, rather than becoming angry. I love these books and think that all parents would benefit from reading. As I stated above, these books won't show you HOW to be a better parent, just as reading a book on art history won't show you HOW to be a museum curator. But knowing and understanding art history is a must in order to be a great curator. Same with kids and same with these books.

I really enjoyed this book. It was recommended to me by two different parents in one week, so I thought it would be worthwhile. Many children's books seem to be written by people who want to go on the lecture circuit, and describe faddish theories; and give parents annoying steps to follow to reach "perfection." But, this book concretely describes what happens at various stages of 3-year old development. It does not prescribe methodology as much as tout the theory that children's development happens on its own for the large part. Parents can gain understanding into their kids' growth and then decide for themselves what to do about it.

Finally! A book that helped me understand the turmoil my three year old is living with. I instantly became more compassioante and accepting of my little sprite. I hope more parents will read this book to learn about the challenges their growing preschooler faces and will learn compassion, discipline through gentle teaching, how to become life long mentors and support for their children.

When you know what behaviors are "normal" for your child's age you can relax, stop the worry, and focus on appropriate solutions. This whole series of books accurately defines the ages and stages of children. These books keep your expectations realistic and allow you to avoid anger caused by a lack of understanding of your child's developmental stages.