Your Six-Year-Old: Loving and Defiant

I bought many books in this series when my son was little-- usually when his behavior was baffling me (and usually every other year). The author explained that children go in and out of feeling balanced as they grow (that's how I understood it). When they felt out of balance, they might seem crabby and tearful. The books were great helps when I was trying to figure out why my sunny little guy was suddenly in years every day.

I have read all of this series of books beginning with Your Two-Year-Old: Terrible or Tender by Louise Bates Ames and Frances L. Ilg. (The books start with the one-year-old.) Their insight into the characteristics, behavior, and development of children is awesome. It seems sometimes that my daughter changes overnight from a loving, caring child into a "monster." I then go back and re-read and find comfort as she goes through this difficult or demanding stage that it is all very "normal"--that other children behave in the same way. The techniques given are so helpful and have worked every time when addapted to my daughter's personality. Dr. Ames states very clearly in the Foreword of each book that "ever child is an individual, different in many ways from every other child living--even from his or her own idential twin," and that no child is truly "average." Techniques are so simple, but in the heat of the problem something hard to think of on my own. Because of the difference at which children reach certain stages, I recomment that each book be read before the child reaches the age of a certain book. I urge every parent of one-year-olds through fourteen-year-olds to read these books and keep them handy for quick reference.

I found a few Gesell books in my MILs storage shed when my now [..]daughter was about three. I thought they were hilariously outdated, but read them anyway. However, they were DEAD on accurate about where she was developmentally and where she was going to be. Consistently, I found myself coming back to "You're Three Year Old" and "Your Four Year Old" and then finding and buying the other books as they went along. Yes, much of the informations and attitudes are outdated, but understanding that some behaviors are age appropriate and better to deal with at another time is invaluable. Additionally, some advice never gets old. My younger child is now about to be 6, and I've misplaced my books, but I value the information enough to buy it again.

I am now buying these books for friends who have kids this age. When my kids were small and would behave in a way I couldn't understand or find frustrating, I would open the age-appropriate book and --bang--there it was every time, detailing the behavior and explaining how it fit into the child's development. I read a lot of child development books but I thought these were by far the most realistic and helpful because they were researched with actual observation of the age group.

I must say that this book is very accurate with respect to a 6 year old's behavior... In fact, there were many times when I laughed out of relief when I realized that the little one's behavior is "normal" for a six year old. This book was recommended to me by a clinical psychologist friend.

The book gave my wife and me an accurate insight on the behavior of our six year old. It seemed like the book was talking about our daughter. We felt very comforted to know that the behavior that we see in our child is not uncommon. We have followed the advice given by the Gessel Institute to avoid and treat tampers. Overall, it is a great guide for parents.