Your Own Worst Enemy: Breaking the Habit of Adult Underachievement

Can a book change your life in a lasting and meaningful way? Maybe. I suppose it depends on the book. Even some of the most well-intentioned books leave no footprints in the sands of my memory. Some purport to help you change, but it's nothing lasting - it's like the five or ten pounds that you lose over and over - but never for good. Well, as contrite as it may sound: a book changed my life. Crazy thing is I never really knew I needed it. I certainly never looked for it. Unlike those ever-anticipating overachievers who, once they identify the possibility...or inkling, of a need for information on this or that, proceed to call the ten closest bookstores to try to attach a name and author to some ambiguous dilemma, I, on the other hand, opened the book because I was intrigued by the cover. One quiet Friday night as I sat in a way-too-comfortable chair at Barnes and Noble (yes, that's where I was), having myself a pity party over some domestic drama, I stumbled upon the book that changed my life. I twisted over the side of my chair to the nearest bookshelf and pulled the interesting-looking book from amid its fellow shiny-covered books. The cover was made to resemble a ransom note. You know the kind: letters cut or torn from various newspapers and magazines and glued to a white sheet of paper in order to mask the identity of the sender. It intrigued me and I began to read it. Three hours later, when the announcement came over the intercom that the store would be closing in 15 minutes, I looked up from the book. I had become so engrossed in the book as to have completely forgotten where I was. My first realization was that I was sitting rather indelicately with one leg flopped over the arm of the chair. My second realization was that I had stumbled upon something that I identified with so closely it gave me a feeling of divine intervention. In "Your Own Worst Enemy" by Dr. Kenneth W. Christian, Dr. Christian tells of lost souls, misspent lives, manic geniuses - all unable to regain the promise and momentum of their youth: persons paralyzingly unable to motivate themselves into completing, essentially, their lives. With key pieces of the learning process missing, they were unable to break through - to see the finish line - to stay the course: to finish what they started. I felt sad for them, or should I say, I felt sad "for us". Shortly thereafter, I committed myself to change. After long months of reading, meditating, praying and writing, I have identified and returned to what I have always loved and wanted to do. I want to work directly with people as a paralegal. I want to be their advocate, to listen and to help. I don't want to be so bound by time constraints, that I cannot help in a meaningful way. I want to give of my time and talents, and of them, generously. Completing my goals will allow me the privilege of being of service to God, doing the kind of work that I would enjoy most. A most gratifying goal that I now, more than at any other tim

As I read this book I was amazed at how consistently "underachievers" think, act and do. Being an underachiever is like belonging to a seperate species, who seem to think and approach life in a way which drags them down, holds them back and makes their lives into dim shadows of what they might be.This book is not easy but it's possible. It's fair. There are explanations, exercizes, and constantly fair minded level headed encouragement. I'll ask you, are you sick and tired yet? If you're sick and tired of waking up and thinking, "Another day". If you're tired of going to another family reunion and staring at your shoes while your peers and younger relations talk about their good jobs and their kids run between your feet and the people who beleived in you quietly accepting what you are today. If you're tired of banging your head against a stone wall and wondering if you're really just "broken and defective" and then five minutes later forgetting what it was you were upset about, and then a few hours later are again applying your crown to stone... If you wake up one day with grey hair, look out your door and see a vibrant dynamic world where you don't belong, have never belonged and wonder, just wonder, if you could belong...This is one way out. This isn't an [spendy]book, in fact for the value, Dr. Christian is giving it away. The real deal is getting it, reading it and using it. Each thing that you do makes life easier and smoother.You help yourself. Dr. Christian gets you started. Get going!

It's amazing that what might at first seem like an ordinary self-help book could have had such an extraordinary effect on my productivity, my personal relationships and yes, my happiness. One important problem I didn't know I had, that the book brought to light for me, was that I had been engaging thoughts and feelings that sapped my confidence. Since I noticed and turned off negative self-talk I've been able to achieve things I never dreamed I had the right to hope for. What was the turning point? Maybe that Dr. Christian starts his step-by-step plan by recommending... pleasure!

I love this book and have found it of great value. Until I read "Your Own Worst Enemy" I'd never seen the phenomenon of underachievement so clearly identified and explained. So often creative people fail to corral their gifts and use them in a productive way. I've encountered talented people who begin to make a film, but when they run into a few obstacles or get scared, they give up, and inevitably become bitter.Dr. Christian's analysis of the reasons why people don't fulfil their potential and his practical suggestions forre-orientation are excellent. He's absolutely right when he speaks of the pitfalls that can still occur even after you meet with success. He tells Stacy's story: how she would always derail herself. But then she applied his exercises and got herself on track, cultivating her deepest interests. This led to her making a documentary film. Along the way, she was filled with exhilaration but also with fear. What if she failed? But she didn't bail out; she kept working hard and along the way got offers of help. For the first time in her life, she was taken seriously as an artist.This book shows that change is truly possible and tells you how you can bring it about if you follow the specifics. It's inspiring: you learn that it's never too late to break old, negative habits and consciously form fresh, productive ones. He offers a concrete guide that anyone can apply: sensible, unique, in-depth exercises for jump-starting your career.I think this book is useful for everyone. Whether you're just starting out or have hit a roadblock, this book makes you ponder your unique answers to essential questions: "What do I really respond to? What gives me joy and passion?" I recommend this book to anyone who has a dream but whose self-defeating habits have interfered with making it come true.Susan FroemkeChief Administrator and Principal FilmmakerMaysles Film Inc.