Your Defiant Child, First Edition: Eight Steps to Better Behavior

I have recommended this book umpteen times. (Don't ask me how many "umpteen" is, but it's a lot!) Realistic, understandable, and well explained. The behavior program is based on positive reinforcement, and from the feedback of my clients, it works! One of my favorite prinicples discussed in the book is "catch your child being good". Barkley is one of the giants in our field, and whatever he writes is golden. Stephanie Moulton Sarkis PhD NCC LMHC Author, ADHD Expert, Psychotherapist

My pediatrician recommended this book when I expressed concerns over power struggles I was having with my daughter. Initially I took the book out of the library - then had to buy it because frankly - I can't do without it now.

I read the book in 2001. It has impressed me ever since. I have several books on this subject. I consider this book is the best. The book provides you with the principles and methods to handle a very stubborn kid (but not the kid with a mental disorder). For example, the biggest thing a kid needs is love. But what is love concretely? It is an attention. It is the time that we spend with the kid. But how to spend the time effectively? It is not by controlling him/her. It is by giving him/her the freedom to enjoy the time spent together. I have not followed exactly the methods provided in the book, but the concept has been very useful for me to deal with my child.

When my husband got this book we were at our wits' end with our four year old. I was beginning to believe she had no conscience at all. We had a three week wait before we could get in to see the child psychologist. This book helped us understand what was going on, that her behavior wasn't our "fault" but that we were a factor, and that we could actually influence her behavior - which at the time seemed impossible. The process Barkley recommends seemed slow at the time, but looking back, it worked amazingly quickly! We didn't get through all 8 steps; just steps 1-3 made such a difference that we didn't need to. The psychologist we saw, while he hadn't read this book, said it seemed to be very much in line with current clinical practice, and encouraged us to use it. A year and a half later, we do have to go back and make sure we give our child her "special time" (one of the steps) or she slips back into some of her bad habits, but we are actually enjoying being parents now. This is not just a "self-help" type book, though it does give self-tests to help you evaluate your situation. It has a lot of substance, and discusses clinical differences between ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, and Conduct Disorder in a clear, professional way.

The author, eminent in his field and writing from many years of clinical experience and research, has produced a state-of-the-art book on dealing with defiant children. The book is particularly useful in stressing the fundamental importance of taking a positive approach to the child's misbehaviors--focusing on praise and coming up with effective incentives to promote better behavior, rather than continuing with criticism, punishment and the kinds of misguided parental discipline that (with these types of children, at least) serve to worsen both the problem and the child's already impaired self-esteem.The book elaborates on a program that requires a great deal of discipline on the part of the parents to carry out. But it really is "the ticket" for reprograming the child to change behaviors that are both problematic and potentially very serious to his/her healthy development.It's simple enough. All kids adopt and change behavior based on basic principles of reinforcement. This book clarifies just how to reward the behaviors that are wanted and successfully discourage or even eradicate behaviors that are so troublesome. This book should be a "godsend" to parents who have felt totally inadequate to deal with the challenges of such a temperamentally difficult youngster.