You Can't Have Him, He's Mine: A Woman's Guide to Affair-Proofing Her Relationship

This mother daughter writing team of Marie H. Browne, R.N., PH.D., and Marlene M. Browne, Esq., has written a book that every wife should read, even if they don't think they are married to one of the 15 to 60 percent of husbands who are cheating on their wives. This statistic is reported in an article from the "Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy" entitled "Cybersex: The New Affair Treatment Considerations". This merging is of a mother whose knowledge and experience comes from being a licenced family therapist and psychiatric nurse, with the understanding of legalities involved in divorce from a daughter who practices family law. They make a perfect team with just the right information to arm a wife in advance of an affair so that she can protect herself and her family. This is not a book that concentrates on telling you what to do after the fact, though there is some advice given on that, it is more a guide with valuable information and tips on keeping the love alive and the family together. Ultimately that is their goal in writing this book. I was particularly pleased with the fact that this book looked deeper into what personality traits a man may possess that may make him more susceptible to having an affair, instead of placing the blame on a wife who was neglecting him. In fact, it was because of this approach I would not hesitate giving this book to a young woman before she is contemplating marriage. Before love-blindness overcomes her and her ability to look at the men she dates not just as future husbands, but as future husbands who will be faithful. The book also shares a lot of input about the "other woman", again providing the various motivating forces that create a woman on the prowl. The book provides an excellent profile of various types of women and why they are likely to become some man's "other woman". Still, the wife is not left completely off the hook. Without laying blame on the wives with cheating husbands the writers are able to describe things a woman can do to affair-proof their marriage. They do this in such a way that a reader can't help but take a closer look at herself and see that she could already be paving the road to heartache. This book also details many of the legal ramifications that result because of an affair. They provide an interesting outlook for the wife whose husband has already been feeding on the greener grass away from home. What a wife does is up to her, but the book clearly explains that divorce does not always have to be the outcome and that many marriages not only survive an affair, but seem to discover a rebirth of love.

The mother and daughter team of Marie H. Browne and Marlene M. Browne has collaborated to explore a topic most people prefer not to think about: marital infidelity. On the rationale that forewarned is forearmed, this book provides an insightful look at how the "other woman" typically operates. While she could catalyze your divorce, she is unlikely to permanently snag your mate and, in fact, might motivate you and your husband to put in the effort to overcome your relationship problems. Although the sequencing of the material is scattered, no one could question the authors' collective experience: one is an experienced licensed family therapist, the other an attorney specializing in family law. The book addresses such topics as how to keep your man, understanding the psychological profile of a mate-poacher, uncovering possible motivations for an affair, determining if you've inadvertently chosen a man who is inclined to stray, and deciding if you should confront his mistress. Finally, the book explores the delicate stages that follow the discovery of an affair. getAbstract suggests this book to wives, who fear they may have reason to worry or who want to cut trouble off at the pass.