Working with the Self-Absorbed

If you think that you're acting in unusual ways and feeling frustrated at work for no discernable reason...you may want to read this book. In it you'll find out what destructive narcissists do in the office environment, and it will convince you you're not imagining the slow drain of energy and increasing discomfort you feel! Brown's detailed descriptions not only of the work-related behaviors of destructive narcissists but also of the feelings these behaviors inspire in others is concrete and helpful. Especially useful is her delineation of the four response stages that you might feel when confronted with a destructive narcissist--she rightly identifies a process of initial elation, when the person is entirely focused on impressing you (I would call this the "honeymoon" period, which comes from the language of domestic violence), to confusion, self-doubt, and then overwhelming frustration. She then offers practical coping strategies that you can enact immediately and that really do work, whether your workplace narcissist is your boss or your colleague. Just knowing that *you* are not overreacting or imagining things is the best reason for reading this book. This book appeared on the shelf when I most needed it. Although I would have liked to see a chapter dealing with how destructive narcissists can actually enlist the help of others in the workplace in their quest for control, in general I found this book very helpful and enlightening.