Words That Hurt, Words That Heal: How to Choose Words Wisely and Well

Despite the proliferation of advanced communications technologies, the basics of communication are woefully lacking simply because they are not a part of education. This book-and there is so much to praise about it-will stir your mind and emotions. It is calming. It is wise. It is practical. Through simple, thought-provoking words of personal experience and well-chosen stories from the Old Testament, Rabbi Telushkin provides real inspiration and a rare and valuable insight into the real purpose of communication: the upliftment of the general human condition and growth of our own spirit. Reading this work has moved me to re-consider the entire agenda and purpose of my life. Today so many words are spoken. Perhaps some of them are heard. What does all this interaction accomplish? When political candidates bend over backwards to smear and denigrate their opponents without offering anything genuinely worthwhile to the public discourse-what does it say about life today, when the very survival of the planet is at stake and those who aspire to become decision-makers employ barbs as their stepping stones to position? I recommend this book to anyone and everyone. It ought to be used as a communications textbook at the earliest feasible level of a child's education. But it's a treasure useful for anyone at any age. I purchase very few books and recently cleaned my shelves of a number of them whose usefulness had long ago faded. This one will not only remain on my shelf, but I plan to send it to several friends. Even if you think you're pretty good with the spoken word, time spent reading this book will have a salutory effect on your being. Wisdom is priceless and can be difficult to find. This easily read, short work has it. It's excellent, comforting food for the soul hungry for practical knowledge of life, and, taken to heart, the Rabbi's words could change the world.

This book is for anyone who believes in their heart, that the following statement is not true, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". The author, Rabbi Telushkin, states that the words we choose in our everyday conversations are not simply a monotone stream of noise for exchanging information. Rather, words possess tremendous power to shape or break relationships. They can humiliate and destroy reputations, careers, friendships, and marriages and thus leave deep, emotional scars and irrevocable damage. And, unfortunately, in our society, it seems as though the only verbal exchanges that most(but not all) people are not uncomfortable with, and secretly relish, whether they publicly admit so or not, are the ones that appeal to the weak side of human nature, such as spreading malicious gossip and rumors, constantly criticizing and finding faults in others, and making prejudicial and ugly comments about various racial, ethnic, and religious groups. Thus by creating a toxic environment, we should not be surprised that there is a small minority, who refuses to take part in this nauseating verbal incivility, and therefore finds themselves isolated, emotionally paralyzed, and unable to wholeheartedly live life to the fullest. This is where Rabbi Telushkin eloquently offers soothing advice to this often ignored and unspoken pain. He states that if people were more self-aware and acutely conscious to the inflammatory power of words and its devastating consequences, rather than denying that they exist, they can learn to refrain from(think before you speak!)making inappropriate and negative comments and lead a richer and emotionally deeper life. If we constantly remind ourselves to stop speaking with an evil tongue and refine our communication skills, new meaningful relationships based on trust can be formed, and people would become less hostile, deceitful, and hypocritical and more open, friendly, and receptive to others. Thank you, arigato(Japanese), toda(Hebrew), gratias(Interlingua), Rabbi Telushkin for setting a HIGH STANDARD for ethical, moral, and spiritual decency!

Old children's rhyme:Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.Real life:Sticks and stones break only bones and bones they heal so fast.But words destroy and kill the soul till nothing's left at last.Written by a Jewish rabbi and based on his years of experience and study, this book starts with the problem of how we hurt others everyday with our words even when that is not our intention. He discusses the obvious damages of slander, propaganda and gossip and also other ways that we hurt others. For example, if we know something to be true about someone then do we tell someone else? Well, that depends on the circumstances. Is there an issue of someone else's safety involved? Will it help another to avoid financial or other mistakes? If it is just something that you know but will do nothing but cause humiliation to the other person then it is best to keep it to yourself, even if it is the truth. If the only reason to tell someone else is to lower their opinion of the person then it is unethical to disclose the information.Can people change? I'm sure that each of us knows at least one person who has made a complete change in their lifestyle. Some for the better and some for the worst. As for me, I would not want to be judged today based on all of my opinions, words and actions as a teenager. The author looks at several ways that the press and others have ruined people because while a person can change their life, they cannot change their past. This is a guide for all those who want to change or improve their relationship whether personal, in business, or other circumstances. This is a guide for those who want to improve their marriage or move it up to the next higher level. This is a guide for those who want to know that all their communications are ethical and moral.You can't remove hurtful and damaging words from your vocabulary until you understand what they are and what they do. Read this book and build a better tomorrow for yourself and your family today. Don't just remove the bad ones, trade them in for new ones.... Words that heal. Inspirational, motivating, encouraging, moving words that bring your relationships into a new focus and positive balance.This book should be given to every parent and spouse that wants to have the best relationship they can with their siblings, parents, or children.

This book changed the way I speak. This book has taught me the damage that can be done by words and words alone. It has taught me that words need to be considered before they are spoken. Because of this book, I have examined the way I speak to friends, relatives, my children and complete strangers on the street.Written in an easy style, Rabbi Telushkin shows by example, how important it is that we monitor our speech to avoid unnecesarily hurting others.I heartily recommend this book to anyone who has any concern for the way their words affect others.

The damage we can do to others by our power of speech -- for example, by gossiping and by passing along rumors for no constructive purpose -- is a matter of great concern in Jewish tradition; one passage of Torah even seems to indicate that embarrassing one's fellow publicly is tantamount to a kind of murder. The most comprehensive works on this topic are those of R. Yisrael Meir Kagan (the Chofetz Chaim), whose writings on Shmirat ha-Lashon (the Laws of Proper Speech) are available from the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation. R. Joseph Telushkin has provided here a highly readable and accessible introduction to this important topic, suitable for Jews (of all levels of observance) and non-Jews alike. His clear exposition and helpful explanations/examples set out the rationale for what may be _the_ single most important area of Jewish observance for our time. This volume is highly recommended for anyone, of any religious background or none, who wants to exercise self-control and thereby prevent a great deal of needless but often invisible spiritual damage. All of our actions have consequences -- including and especially our speech.