Women Don't Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation--And Positive Strategies for Change

This book is full of eye-opening thoughts that I found so crucial to my own sense of empowerment as I faced post-graduate school job negotiation opportunities. There are so many things I would never have thought of as options to set on the negotiating table, not to mention so many things about how I behave, what my expectations are for myself, and how they differ from those of a typical male perspective. Even though I am educated in a human social science field and consider myself a liberal woman, I had A LOT to learn from this book. I liked the mix of examples of diverse individual women's experiences along with data from the authors' and others' relevant studies.

The debate on gender equity often emphasizes that women earn less than men with similar experience. Authors Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever say that while women may indeed be the victims of external forces, they also to some extent may suffer from their own inability, unwillingness or aversion to negotiate or make demands. In fact, men negotiate four times as frequently as women, and get better results. Men are much more apt to make demands and ask for benefits, pay increases and so forth. Men make more money not necessarily because the system is overtly discriminatory - though it well may be - but because men demand more. The book tends to belabor its point, and sometimes the evidence does not seem as well-presented as it might have been, but We found that it sheds useful light on a knotty social problem. Perhaps it will spur more women to fight - or to continue to fight - on their own behalf.

I read this book in almost one sitting. It has compelling factual data and riveting anecdotes. But, unlike Backlash, by Susan Faludi, which was almost totally negative, the authors also look at women's strengths in negotiation, and give some ideas for how to put their ideas into action. It's not a how-to-negotiate book; I've spent the last 23 years practicing corporate law, negotiating sophisticated legal transactions and running an in-house department. This book goes beyond "how to" into "why". Essential reading for any woman!

This book is incredibly well-researched and thoughtfully laid out. It builds its case beautifully with interesting examples, then backs it up with empirical research. And credit to the authors' writing styles, for they do not point fingers or whine about the way things are. And they never fall into a dry style of writing. The book flows nicely, and is easy to read. Most importantly, they shine a light on issues women have in asking for what they deserve and by laying out their case in such a well-articulated fashion, they help provide answers that we can all act upon and move forward with.The issues that the book explores impact women across all facets of their life -- from negotiating child care responsibilites to getting the recognition and compensation they deserve on the job. As a co-author of the business book "The Old Girls' Network", I see these issues in evidence in how women buiness owners also negotiate -- for contracts, for customers, in how they price their products and reticence about charging appropriately. So, I would say this book has broad appeal to stay at home moms, women in corporate life and for the large contingent of female entrepreneurs. It is a must-have addition to all of our reading lists, and one that should bring positive results.

First RateLinda Babcock is the James Mellon Walton Professor of Economics at the H. John Heinz III School of Public Policy and Management of Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She holds a Ph.D. in economics from the University of Wisconsin at Madison and is a well-published specialist in negotiation and dispute resolution.Sara Laschever is a prolific writer and editor with extensive experience in gender research. Ms. Laschever was a research associate and principal interviewer for Project Access, a Harvard University study of the effect of gender on the advancement of women in science. She holds a Master's degree from Boston University.Women Don't Ask is a work with multiple interwoven themes. At its core, it is an important study of gender differences in negotiations. It is also a handbook for women offering concrete advice on how to improve their performance in negotiations.Still further, it is a book about possibilities. Centering on traditional areas of women's strengths in sharing information and building and preserving relationships, it concludes that women are potentially in a position to use these qualities with great effect in collaborative negotiating environments. Gender differences, therefore, include both hurdles to be overcome and promises for enhanced performance for women in negotiations. Lastly, the reader will find the book presents a compelling case for the necessity of participation and skill in negotiations as an increasingly critical survival mechanism for both women and men in contemporary life. Although focusing primarily on women, the authors present an array of general statistics defining an environment in which all workers need to bargain repeatedly with a succession of employers for salaries and benefits. The central thesis of this book is that the enhancement of negotiating performance is essential to improving the quality of life for women. The corollary message for those many men who do not negotiate well is equally clear. Negotiation is a critical skill for both sexes. This work, of course, is focused on enhancing women's skills.Why don't women negotiate well, because they do not ask, the authors assert. Using multiple studies and over 100 interviews with women and men in the U.S., Britain and Europe, the authors draw a portrait of gender differences in negotiations.A study of starting salaries received by recently graduating students at Carnegie Mellon University is central to the authors' conclusions. Starting salaries reported by the students showed that women received starting salaries averaging $4,000 below their male peers. Why? Fifty-seven percent of the men negotiated their employment package vs. only seven percent of the women. This book explores the significant economic impacts of the decision by some graduates to negotiate vs. the decision of others not to negotiate at all. The results for those who negotiated, both women and men, produced an average gain of over $4,