Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women

Smart women marry have equal chances to marriage with the exception that they marry latter. Smart women are attractive and their independance is not intimidating. Men still make more money, but things are changing. The shocking statistics indicate that women have closed the gap on education getting more advanced degrees and increasing numbers of professional jobs. Why is this trend occurring in a male dominated society? Academically, it would seem women are becoming better qualified. Intellectually, across a wide distribution smart women seem to be more competitive. However, in strongly niched sectors entry by women remains a barrier. Smart woman have families and careers. Smart women manage to balance the demands of job and home. Today, there is more job flexibility, technology allows for more telecommuting and remote communication. Business are aware of day care needs and some provide onsite day care. Furthermore, knowledge based skills are in demand provide more time scheduling possibilities. 9-5 in a office is not necessary. Should a man be the sole income provider for his family? If both parents are working who will raise the children? Is it possible to adequately perform this juggling act without remorse? Well, if you believe in "cheaper by the dozen" than a smart women can have it all. Every interesting, contrary to initial presumptions, in my mind.

This is a great book: it provides firm evidence that debunks the myth that successful women will struggle to find partners. In a great combination of social science research and interesting interviews, Whelan demolishes the oft-cited view that being successful will deter potential mates: great news for all the women out there who've been told they must choose between achievement and marriage. If the previous reviewer had read past p.75 he might also have noticed that the one thing this book does NOT do is argue that being successful is an excuse for not finding a partner (ie, he was SO intimidated by me that he dumped me). In fact, one of the things that makes this book so great is that it points out that one of the reasons for the persistence of this myth is that women can buy into it as an excuse. Great book!

It is wonderful to read such good news, especially in light of the recent widely publicized English/Scottish study which reported that women with higher IQs were less likely to marry. I applaud Dr. Whelan for the strides she has made to reverse the common misconception about high achieving women's chances of marrying, and the propagation of such myths as a "40 year old single woman is more like to be killed by a terrorist than to marry". I was fed up with hearing the media state over and again that women shouldn't wait so long to get married, as though they were to blame in some way. It is heartening to learn from Dr. Whelan that women who excel academically and in their careers are just as likely to get married, but it just takes longer, and that there is nothing wrong with that! I couldn't recommend this book more highly (also for the mothers of Strong Women Achievers No Spouse!): not only is Dr. Whelan the bearer of great news, but she provides a tremendous, lively read.

Well, looking over the reviews here, I see the mark of a really good book--controversy! In Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women, the author argues that the "success penalty" for women with higher education or career success is a thing of the past. And with reams of data -- plus engaging anecdotes and advice to make these dry numbers very readable (this book is, after all, meant to reach out to a large audience) -- she makes a solid case for this good news. It's sad but unsurprising that some won't let go of well over a generation of dated thinking. Are we to ignore the U.S. Census data that has proven that women with master's, professional and doctoral degrees are as or *more* likely to have married than other women their age with less education? Much of the data Whelan presents in the book comprises opinions and anecdotes, and yes, that is always suspect (though rather necessary, I should imagine, to get it beyond academic libraries and into mainstream bookstores). But the 2005 US Census data is hard to dispute: there's 75% chance that a never-married 30-year-old woman with an advanced degree will marry, compared with a 66% chance for a 30-year-old with a college degree or less. Education is a plus in the marriage dept. This is a change worth recognizing, if only to alleviate the (very real) anxieties of so many educated women. I've already shared this book with bright 20- and 30-something friends who are rattled after hearing about one guy or another who found their friend/co-worker/classmate intimidating. Situations like that rear up all the old stereotypes and fears. (And my friends, in turn, share it with their mothers!) We need to support this debunking research till the old myths are gone. Once the next generation of men and women say, "Huh? Why would a guy possibly be intimidated by a successful woman?" we'll know that Whelan's book has done its job.

We've been told since we were young that men marry "down" and that no woman with a career or significant education should expect to attract many men. But Whelan's book, citing U.S. census data and her own study commissioned for the book, reveals that this is false! High-achieving women marry at the same rates as, and in some cases higher rates than, the average woman. She goes on to explain that the persistence of this myth might be explained by the fact that high-achieving women marry a little later than the average woman. In other words, we might see that many high-achieving women in their late twenties are unmarried, but things start to even out as these women get married in their thirties. Aside from the stastitics, she fills the book with interviews with men and women around the country. These personal and revealing interviews show the reader that he or she is not alone in the anxiety around the career/marriage conflict. A great read that is both fascinating and ultimately reassuring. A+!