Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog: The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman

In Scottoline's collection of essays, excerpted from her "Philadelphia Inquirer" columns, we follow her adventures through the minefields of motherhood, love, men, and Spanx. Yes, that's what I said. Her hilariously funny take on those particular garments, as well as other aspects of "middle-aged" life, had me laughing all the way to the last chapter. Her views on finances, food, pets vs. men, and how the mother-daughter relationship shifts over the years are so relatable that I couldn't stop reading. I especially enjoyed her perspective on resolutions. She has what she calls "unresolutions," which are simply things you're already doing that you don't want to change, like: "UnResolution Number One. I sleep in my clothes, and I resolve to keep sleeping in my clothes. I know this sounds weird, and it helps that my clothes are fleece pants and a fleece top, because I work at home..." Then there's her chapter on "Things to Do." She describes it this way: "To explain, I let my Things to Do pile up because when I'm in the final draft of a book, I do nothing else. I let everything go, including my roots. You don't want to see me with final-draft roots. It looks like my hair got caught in a forest fire, leaving behind burnt trunks and a very single woman." Then in the beginning of her chapter on "Bail-Outs," she describes how, with Thanksgiving just around the corner, we look for the people in our lives for whom we're thankful...and then she describes a rainy day when she was searching for an address, becoming more and more confused when she couldn't find the number which seemed nonexistent, and then a stranger appeared. Someone who handed her an umbrella and proceeded to look for and discover that the "out-of-order" address number was just down the street, and she realized that she was suddenly thankful for the kindness of a complete stranger who went out of his way to help her. Full of gems of wisdom, quirkiness, and down-to-earth anecdotes that fill ordinary lives and make us smile, Why My Third Husband Will Be A Dog: The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman is a book that I know I'll reread often, just so I can laugh. And relate to one of my favorite authors who seems to be just like you and me.

Sometimes it just terrifies me to think what must go on in this woman's mind. But what I think is even more terrifying is that we see real estate ads in the same way. But, I have been pulled back from that precipice by knowing that I don't have to discuss shaving with my mother. Yeah, I know, but you will have to read the book to fully understand that one. So goes this fun little book by the author of the Rosato and Associates series. Combining articles from her Philadelphia Inquirer columns, Lisa brings us into her world of fun with a sense of humor that has you laughing from beginning to end. From having a dog in your bed with restless leg syndrome to having a child grow up and discovering life on her own, to a tiny Italian mother who hasn't had to buy a razor in years because there is nothing left to shave, has the reader both fascinated in an ordinary life, I don't know who she is trying to fool with that one, and mesmerized by the fact that she is still able to get out of bed in the morning and spend a full day writing a highly admired series. I hope Lisa continues to write this type of book, to include the rest of us in her remarkably ordinary life. To entertain us when we need a good laugh and to remind us that

I loved this book! I have read all of Lisa Scottoline's novels, but didn't realize that she writes a weekly column for the "Philadelphia Inquirer". I was pleased to come across this book which is a collection of those columns and other new essays. The subjects of the essays vary from everyday topics such as magazine renewals and car insurance to the more emotional subjects of kids going away to school sick pets, and aging parents. I found the one about the "Whoppers" candy to be hilarious and comparable to a good Seinfeld routine. There is much humor in Ms. Scottoline's novels, but she is really able to show her great sense of humor through these columns. I really enjoyed this book and highly recommend it. It's great to buy for yourself to read, but would also make a great gift for a mother, older daughter, sister, or best friend. I could relate to some of the essays more than others, but there is something to appeal to everyone. I know that I will be re-reading my favorite essays over again.

This book is brilliantly funny, not only from "women's perspective," but also for critter-people. I'd thought to quote a couple of my favorite lines, but practically every page added more to my favorites! Needless to say, my sister, who is literally up to #3 too, will be getting a copy of this for Christmas!!!

I do not understand women. What man does? Lisa Scottoline writes about women from a woman's view. I think this book is insightful and funny. Women, I am certain, will probably understand references that leave me scratching my head. When she talks about being braless, for example, I get an image she probably did not intend. Lisa Scottoline's new book is often hilarious, like when she writes about Spanx ("like slipping into a tourniquet"). Lisa, who wrote sixteen novels, also penned a regular newspaper column about the lives of ordinary women. Why My Third Husband Will Be A Dog edits and re-presents her columns. Why My Third Husband Will Be A Dog, details events common to the lives of ordinary women. We relive incidents like: choosing which bacteria to accept, the art of reading ads, and lessons learned from Archie comic books. We see a new perspective on hot flashes, which are really "God's way of compensating women for all the years they spent being cold." Then we contemplate washing our face with diamond dust (it exfoliates the skin - but wash it off or your "face will be sparkly"). Two sections I especially enjoyed were the concept of a new religion where a wife can have as many husbands as she wishes, and a chore list where men can exchange "have a baby" with "take out the trash". The idea of men bearing the children is interesting at best and horrible to contemplate at worst. I highly recommend this book for regular comedy breaks. The chapters are very short, so you can read a chapter during a 5 minute coffee break and take the laugh back with you to work. I especially recommend this book to women and hope someday a woman will explain the parts that passed me by.