Why Doesn't Anybody Like Me?: A Guide to Raising Socially Confident Kids

Citing considerable scientific research, the author paints a vivid picture of the social dynamics of a child's world. She describes in detail the different social "categories" children are automatically placed in by their peers (bullies, victims, etc.) as early as kindergarten and first grade. For these categories, the author describes how differences in parenting styles and methods can contribute to a child receiving a particular label. As a parent of a toddler and a preschooler, this book helped me to understand how I can contribute to my children's social development in a meaningful way. Topics such as the importance of free play vs. organize classes, and how to help the developing brain learn to manage emotions were particularly helpful. I feel lucky to have read the book early in my children's lives, since I now have some specific tools for helping my child become socially confident. The author makes it clear that social issues arise early, and can stick with a child for life. Unfortunately, the book provides little guidance for parents of older children who are struggling, and how to change. In that regard, the title seems to be somewhat misleading -- unless you consider your children to be "raised" when they hit kindergarten! Also, the book is far from a "guide". Though the content is excellent, the sections that provided specific tips for parents were overly simplistic and seemed to be something of an afterthought. For parents of very young children, I would consider this book a must-read. If you have an older child who is struggling, I think the book might miss the mark.

This is a good base for parents whose kids are having a hard time in school. I found it to be very Cause & Effect which was just what my son (and I) needed. I read it three or four years ago when my son was having a dreadfully hard time. I put the concepts from the book to practice in my own way (i.e., "movie dates" with him where we watched movies and discussed emotions and 'reading' people's body language). No my son is 12 and in 7th grade and he has friends, not tons, but a few, but he is happy and content. Kids like him, he doesn't feel desperate to fit in. This book is very practical and well worth the time to read and money spent to have it be part of your library... along with Brazelton and Sears.

I grew up as a tormented outcast, and my biggest fear about having children is the dread that they might be like me. This book, which collects a lot of solid and well-researched information in one place, has helped to ease my fears. Now I understand many of the things that went wrong for me, and that helps me to believe that it doesn't have to be that way.Don't just ignore your child's unhappiness. Take this crucial problem seriously, and buy this book to learn about the underlying factors and some of the practical steps you can take to help.

This book is one of the best parenting books I have ever read. Although there seems to be lots of research as to how children act in a social context, little or nothing has been written for parents. Ms. Marano makes a very convincing case that social competence is very important for children, citing lots of research in a very clear manner (too bad the publisher decided to leave the references out). She explains in detail what makes a child well liked by other children and what not. She also points out that, although social competence is in part a genetic matter, parents have a lot of influence on their children's social behaviour. She offers lots of (fun) suggestions for improving children's social skills. I thought this book was a real page turner and highly recommend it.