Why Black Men Choose White Women

From the perspective of a 53 year old African-American woman I did not learn a lot of new information about the internalized racism that has long been part of our culture. I am also acutely aware of how institutionalized racism has effected our entire society and how that has strongly influenced the messages we all receive. What I didn't get was why these relationships are epidemic at this point. My own immediate and extended family is mostly male. Not one of them is in a relationship with a sister. And this has been going on for years. I know many families like mine. Young black women in high school and college are not dating brothers. It begins even earlier. Also, what I didn't get is, with other minorities getting these same messages about the standard of beauty of white women, why is it that black men are the ones who are mostly flocking to white women? I still have many unanswered questions. Perhaps this subject needs to covered from a male perspective documenting actual interviews of brothers involved in these relationships as well as hearing from brothers who have resisted the trend.

I enjoyed your book. I feel, as you do, that people should date and marry the person of their choice without regard for their race or nationality. Your book provides keen insight into the reason why some Black men choose White women. Keep provoking people to think about the dynamics of male/female relationships, one of the most pressing problems in our nation. Your books have inspired me to turn on my computer and move forward with my book.

It is no small wonder why this book has made the Blackboard African American Best sellers list as published in Essence Magazine, January '99. The negative images black men are bombarded with, from womb to tomb, takes its toll on their selection of a mate. This book explains how TV comedy programs have shown black women less attractive while the white women are the symbol of godliness. This book reminds me of how black men have been lynched for merely looking at a white women, while white men have been given a slap on the wrist for raping black women. When a society sees these image throughout their life, a black boy is exceptional if he grows up without the subliminal message that white women are better. This book help many understand why a black wealthy man who can afford the finest car, house, clothes, and jewlery does not feel accomplished until he has HIS VERY OWN white woman to showcase. It's his way of telling the world, 'NOTHING is too GOOD for me. History has proven that little black girls will choose to play with a white doll fives times more than she will choose a doll that looks like her. Why? Black women even choose whites images to model themselves after, white girls make-up, long synthetic hair, etc. because they too have been beaten down by all the glorious white images and they too think white women or Blondes have more fun. However, the book also explain that there are mixed couples who are truly in love for reason above and beyond the myths. Many white women chase black men because they have heard that black men have bigger penises and are better lovers. The black men pray nightly to live up to these myths while his black children on the other side of town is being raised by a single mother. I loved this book and I think it is an eye-opener to some and offensive to others. As my grandfather use to say, 'If you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you will know which one you hit by the one who hollered loudest."

Kudos to you, Dr. Milligan, for having the courage to talk about one of America's most dirty little secrets, the black man vis-a-vis the white woman. Lynchings notwithstanding, we only have to look back a few years ago at the hysteria surrounding the O.J. trial, to know this is the final insult to Racists in America. This is one of America's oldest taboos, and you covered this subject quite well. This book has been a long time coming. Please continue to write about subjects which hit the truth! Congratulations on being on the Blackboard Bestseller's list! I think this is the second one I've seen you on, so you must have hit a nerve.