Who's Pushing Your Buttons?

"Who's Pushing Your Buttons" is one of the best books I've ever read on conflict resolution. This is a really useful book that helps you to take charge in very difficult situations. It is encouraging to know that your relationship with someone difficult is not completely hopeless. Dr. John Townsend begins this book by presenting the reasons someone in your life is a button-pusher. The first chapter analyzes the problems you may be encountering or at least it explains the reasons people are button-pushers. In a way, this book is as much about working on yourself as it is about getting another person to change. Most of the book deals with issues you can handle yourself, like getting a life vs. being obsessive about a troublesome relationship. As you work on yourself the situation can start to change. Simply by spending more time away from the problem it can get better. That is just the start of how to deal with problems. Dr. John Townsend has quite a few good solutions that involve setting boundaries and at times withdrawing from difficult people. This seemed to work well with relatives that were out of control. Most of the advice in this book seems to work well within a marriage relationship. My husband and I take turns being each other's button pushers. He thinks I talk too much about certain subjects (I analyze a lot) and I think he talks too little about subjects important to me. So there are some topics we just have to avoid. That was something that wasn't addressed in the book - avoidance of dangerous topics that cause anger. This book is much more in favor of taking the bull by the horns. For lasting change and a peaceful relationship sometimes you have to make difficult decisions that could cause a temporary loss of comfort. While this book doesn't advocate a total separation I think that might be useful in some relationships. The author believes there is hope for everyone but does believe you should get help if your relationship has turned violent. So if you are in a relationship where someone is driving you crazy you might just have a button-pusher on your hands. According to this book, there is hope and you have more control over the situation than you realize. I can highly recommend this book to anyone struggling in an abusive relationship. The ideas in this book will help you with relatives, friends, work associates and marriage partners. It is great to know that you can turn any relationship around with God's help and a bit of wisdom and persistence. I've found that reading relationship books and trying to practice unconditional love has been what keeps my marriage together. Each book I read gives me new ideas and I try to put them into practice as soon as possible. I have noticed that as I change myself and try to be a better person, my relationship with my husband and family is better. So I really agree with the author's ideas of working on yourself first so you can be a good example of how to live out the Christian lif

A Freind of mine purched this book and recommended it. With Christmas coming up and Family coming from out of state, I have not had a chance to read it. I deal with difficult people everyday in 3 different groups that I belong to and thought this book may give some insight to dealing with them.

This is a great practical advice book! Easy to read. I highlighted a number of parts and have already passed it on to a family member.

This is a great little book that doesn't waste a lot of pages on useless stuff, but gets right to the heart of the matter, the meat of the material. It even addresses how to deal with someone whose thinking just isn't right, which you rarely see in a Christian book. This book gives you practical information for being in charge of your own life and yet, still being a Christian (decent) person. I highly recommend it. The vision aspects alone, what do you want to see in your life, are worth the book because we often get settled and complacent and think we have to deal with what life has doled out, instead of being proactive in our vision for life.

I bought this book because I needed some support in dealing with a couple button pushers in my life and was not disappointed in this books teaching. In this book Dr. John Townsend explains that dealing with a button pusher takes a plan and that leaving is not an option in a love relationship, in fact he states boldly that leaving is for wimps. This book has opened my eyes to may things here are a few 1- We must not be dependant on the person, we can live with and love a difficult person and still change and grow ourselves 2- That we must set boundaries and consequences and those consequences must be appropriate. 3- Even though I focus on the other persons attitudes towards me, what is it about me that draw's out those attitudes in others, how do I push buttons as well. 4- God is ultimately in charge and although it may look like the other person is not learning anything or having to deal with the nasty behavior, all people pay for their actions one way or the other and you cant run from God and he will in fact make things more difficult on the person in order for them to repent and return to him. Although this book is no landmark on the subject it does offer solid ideas and help on a difficult subject and I would recommend it to anyone trying to get a grasp on living in a difficult relationship.