Whisker Rubs: Developing the Masculine Identity

Great book that talks to the heart of the masculine identity crisis that many young boys face today. Society tells young boys to sit down, sit still, be quiet and conform and that is just not the way we are made. The authors do an excellent job of affirming choices dads make to raise men and not just male members of society.

In the last couple years, I've read a number of books on the spiritual and social development of boys & men, from both secular and Christian authors, and I have to admit, this books is one of the best I've found. It seems to have a lot of similarities with "Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul" by John Eldredge (if you liked that one you'll like this one) and does a great job of exploring the heart and soul of men and boys and the factors that influence a boy's spiritual development. "Boys don't become men in the presence of women. They become men in the presence of other men. They become men when they test themselves, when someone pushes them to the limit of what they think they can do. In a perfect world, dads do this pushing. If dad isn't around, or he isn't up to the task, other men must step in...As dads or as mentors to other boys we don't have a roadmap. We often don't know the way and stumble in the dark. We hope we're doing the right thing but aren't sure. Then unexpectedly, we see something n our boys that confirms we're doing something right." (page 18) He goes on to describe the stages of a man's life and how his role, as well as the way he views himself, changes over time. Over all I believe this is a very valuable book for anyone seeking to understand the development of boys into Christ-like men. For other good books (Christian & secular) on male development try Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood by Robert Lewis, The Wonder of Boysby Michael Gurian, King Me: What Every Son Wants and Needs from His Fatherby Steve Farrar, and Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boysby Kindlon & Thompson.

Psychosocial rehabilitation specialist Don S. Otis presents Whisker Rubs: Developing the Masculine Identity, a manifesto about the obstacles today's postmodern society places upon young boys on the road to manhood, as well as adult men who have their masculinity derided, the importance of their roles as fathers and husbands lampooned by popular culture, and an endless smorgasbord of hedonistic cultural affirmations pulling them away from the qualities of faith, responsibility, and maturity vital to being a man and a capable father. Though Whisker Rubs is from a Christian perspective and affirms the importance of knowing God, its primary focus is a strong message to readers of all religious backgrounds: it's important to let boys be boys, and acknowledge their need for activity, challenge (often physical challenge), and to test themselves in a true adventure. It is also critical for boys to have positive guidance from their fathers and male role models to steer them on a a responsible, disciplines path and away from pitfalls ranging from narcissism to timidity to outright criminal behavior. Further chapters also explore the crushingly high divorce rate in America, and what factors constitute a successful marriage as well as what erodes an unsuccessful marriage. "Most men are romantics. They want the whole package every bit as much as woman do. There is just one problem: there is no perfect person. In fact, there is no perfect relationship because there is no completely unselfish person. Nor is there anyone who can perfectly fulfill every need, want, or desire a man has." A straight-talking antidote to today's ambivalent, amorphous culture that downplays both the needs and the responsibilities of boys and men.