While They're at War: The True Story of American Families on the Homefront

Kristin Henderson's fine book, While They're at War: The True Story of American Families on the Homefront, is directed toward those of us -- the majority of Americans -- who have no personal connection with the military. So it's impressive how many reader reviews praising the accuracy of her portrayal were written by military spouses. Her overview of military life is also impressive. Her subject matter was thoroughly researched, as evidenced by some ten pages of references. She covers both the stresses on and resources available to the families -- wives in particular -- of soldiers who are deployed in time of war. If this were the totality of Henderson's book, it would be a fine, informative guide to military life. But While They're at War is so much more than that. Kristin Henderson is not only a researcher, but an insider, married to a Navy chaplain serving with the Marines. Since September 11, she has had to see him off on deployments to Afghanistan and then Iraq. She is also an active volunteer with a family readiness support program, where she met many of the spouses she came to know and interview. Their stories are the heart and soul of her book. Human beings have a limited capacity for imagination when it comes to large numbers of people. It's often been remarked that newspaper readers or TV viewers can be unmoved by the plight of a thousand children at risk, but be frozen with fear for one child who has fallen down a well. In Henderson's reporting, we don't just get statistics. Rather, we learn the personal stories of Beth and Marissa, one a newlywed, one left behind with a small child, as they struggle with jobs and child care, with loneliness and with the never ending fear that their husband will be the next victim of a deadly roadside bomb. Henderson must struggle with all these challenges as well -- one reason she tells the stories of these young wives so compellingly. The other is simply that she is a gifted writer, with a novelist's flair for storytelling that makes her book not just informative but a page-turner. But these stories are more than just diverting stories. As Henderson notes, our wars now are fought by a small minority of our young men and women, and it's obvious that many of those she interviewed had no other viable economic choice than military service. As she puts it, "There is a growing gap between those who serve and those who don't." Henderson wants to remind the American public and policy-makers that these are not faceless, "disposable" young men and women. Rather, each is "an individual, a precious, irreplaceable human being who is loved by a mother, a father, a sister, a boyfriend. A wife." You can't read this wonderful and important account without having this realization brought home.

Kristin is a brillant writer. Her writing grabs your attention and doesn't let you go. She truly captured the truth of this lifestyle. This is a book for every American to read not only to honor military members and their families, but to also to see an inside glimpse and understand what it means when loved ones are sent to war. As a military spouse, I am proud to call Kristin a spokesperson for all of us who have experienced a loved one being sent to dangerous locations in order to serve our nation. You did it Kristin! Thank you!

This book is a tour de force. The author has deftly integrated many compelling personal narratives about the experiences of military spouses left behind when their mates deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan, together with a great deal of factual material and statistics which tell us what our government is, and is not, doing to support the troops and their families before and after deployment. The result is the best form of non-fiction; a story you cannot put down until the end, along with credible, well-researched and well-documented facts that provide education as well as entertainment. As the author points out, most of us in the US do not have anyone "in the fight", and though we may have firmly held beliefs about whether or not the US should be in Iraq, we probably don't have a lot of first-hand knowledge about what the war effort really entails for those who are actually involved. This book puts us into the soldiers' homes, before, during and after their deployments. We ride along with the stateside spouses as they deal with work, children, child care, and their peers. We get inside the stresses they face and we see where the "system" offers them support and where it fails. Because so few of the people in the Administration and Congress have had the personal experience of military service, and even fewer - if any - have had any experience with deployment in the military conflicts of the new millenium, this book should be required reading for every one of them. I wish I could afford to send a copy to every member of Congress, but I can't. I wish the House and the Senate, along with the Pentagon and the White House, would form a book club and make this their first choice. We would all benefit from such an endeavor.

Journalist Kristin Henderson, wife of a military chaplain, has written a timely book about life on the homefront, the story -- or, more accurately, the stories -- of America's military families, the spouses and children whose husbands and fathers, wives and mothers, serve as part of our volunteer military. This beautifully written book left me in tears every few pages; Henderson tells many stories here -- of marriages that grow, marriages that fail, a wounded soldier rebuilding his body with the help of his wife, a widow rebuilding her shattered life with the help of family, friends and her community. Henderson has a great talent for painting a detailed picture in shades of gray -- there is no black or white in these stories, no absolute right or wrong. When she documents the coming-apart of a relationship, Henderson puts herself into each partner's point of view. There are no villains, just people striving to do their best in what are often difficult and heartbreaking circumstances. These stories inspire compassion, and often pride and admiration of the service members, their spouses, and their families. Henderson incorporates much useful information concerning resources for military spouses and families, and includes many illuminating statistics without ever being dry or boring. WHILE THEY'RE AT WAR gave me a new appreciation for the sacrifices involved in a military career, sacrifices made both by service members and by the family members that love and support them. Many thanks to Henderson for telling an important story both we civilians and our leaders need to understand in evaluating the full costs of war to our society.

Only 1% of our nation knows what it's like to send the people they love into war. Kristin Henderson makes this point in WHILE THEY'RE AT WAR and discusses the importance for every citizen to understand what they're going through. Whether you're for the war or against it - it is neccessary to support the military families and spouses. Wonderfully written, compelling and riveting, this book shows what it's like for two very different women going through their husband's first deployments. Kristin's own story as a military spouse is in the background, and she also includes the stories of many other women and men across the country. I couldn't put this book down - and feel that it is a book that can change lives - it certainly changed mine.