When You Don't See Me

I agree with some of the other reviewers that this is definitely a departure for TJB. Anything but "lighthearted fluff", this book takes a darker turn. I began the book expecting a nice, easy gay romance, but as time an chapters went on, I realized I was in for something new. Nick Dunhill's story is one of uncertainty, angst and recovery. Beck presents us with a main character who isnt totally "likeable". He has some major flaws...he's paranoid, unfocused, and sometimes a little bit rude. Nick would seem oddly out of place in TJB's earlier works, but kept within the parameters of this novel he's a perfect fit. What is most interesting to me is the way this story parallels many of our own real-life stories of 9/11 recovery. I use the term "recovery" because, as the story helped me realize, I had some of my own lingering emotions when it comes to the Sept. 11th tragedy. The book does not begin by dwelling on it, but little by little, Beck reveals the reasons behind Nick's emotional state. In much the same way, I had largely put 9/11 behind me, but there is still something unfinished...something still hiding inside my head, that creeps to the surface every time I get on a plane or watch the news. I suppose it will always be that way, and I accept it as the way things probably should be. Without giving too much away, Nick's story is not limited to his 9/11 experience. He has unresolved family issues and complicated relationships with friends and roommates. There is a lot to this story and it would be a mistake to try to confine it to any single category, such as "gay fiction" or "9/11 drama". It's a serious read, but not overly bleak, and never dull. The characters are outstanding, as they have been in all of TJB's works. Even the minor characters have a lot to offer. As for continuity, Beck doesnt let us down...some of our favorite characters from previous books resurface in this story. However, it is most definitely a great story all on it's own. I'm looking forward to future works from TJB...this book has really widened the parameters and upped the ante of what to expect from his novels. Whether or not you have read any of the previous books, I highly recommend this one. It should satisfy both the newbies and the regular TJB fans alike.

I waited several days between completing this book and writing this review. There was a lot to think about, not all of it pleasant, before I was ready to venture my opinion. I must admit, after reading Timothy James Beck's (Beck is actually four authors writing as one) previous novels, all optimistic and romantic, I wasn't really prepared for this often dark and cynical offering, and my feelings were initially discouraging. Frankly it seemed whiny and overwrought. Beck's world took on an ugly aura that was uncharacteristic with everything that came before it. But this is a post 9/11 world, and that fact begins to resonate as the story progresses, bringing on a heightened sense of awareness. Beck is exploring the process of grieving, and it's not always easy to follow the expedition, but it left an incredibly impression on me. While all the Beck characters I've come to love make an appearance, this is primarily Nick Dunhill's story. Nick's a skinny, artistic, 19 year old gay kid, originally from Eau Claire Wisconsin. Nick and his family were at terribly odds, especially after he came out to them, so he was shipped off to New York City in 2000, when he was 16, to live with his Uncle Blaine and his lover Daniel, leaving behind an angry and confused twin brother. As the story begins, it's early 2003 and Nick has dropped out of college, moved out of his Uncle's apartment, and taken a job at a cleaning service called I Dream of Cleanie. He's cut himself off from the past, supposedly looking for his direction in life, but he seems cranky and totally unmotivated. He's procured three roommates in order to afford a dumpy apartment in Harlem, and together they make a motley crew. Nick is neurotic and annoying. He's spooked by loud noises, he hates the subway, and he's phobic about tall buildings. He has a smart mouth and an assuming nature, and Beck makes sure we get a good dose of his unpleasantness before getting to the bottom of it. There is a great deal of pain inside of Nick, and it's working its way out. This is a novel about grief and reconnecting, and it's sometimes uncomfortable to read, but the result is heartfelt and moving. As I followed Nick's daily journey of anguish and repair, the story took on a symbolic and deeply spiritual quality that left me with a wonderful feeling of catharsis upon conclusion. WHEN YOU DON'T SEE ME may not be the joyously romantic novel its predecessors are, but it's incredibly sincere and profound, and it's a real tribute to the talents of its authors. Is this my favorite Beck novel? No, not really. I'm just an old romantic by nature and my heart sticks with the sweeter earlier novels. But there is promise of a brighter future in this book and for that I'm grateful. Like the tragedy that anchors this dark yet captivating tale, there are many questions left unanswered, questions we may never have answers for, but the future is full of possibilities and I feel sure Beck will continue to share them with us.

Easily one of the best books I have read this year. In true Timothy James Beck fashion, the characters are not only real and engaging, but people you'd want to hang out with... and "watching" as Nick navigates his way through some pretty tough growing pains, as well as a national tragedy was an amazing journey. There were a lot of laughs, and a lot of tears ... and I thank the writers for all the things this book made me feel. Heartwarming, poignant, sad, funny - When You Don't See Me has it all. Nick's bruised but not broken spirit is definitely something we can all learn from. Thanks for the ride, and the wonderful experience. I'm recommending this book to everyone I know.

This may be the best of the five novels of the Timothy James Beck foursome. It continues the stories of the wonderful set of friends from the earlier three Manhattan stories (Blaine and Daniel, Sheila and Josh, Gavin and Ethan, Jeremy and Adam, Blythe, Martin, etc.) and adds Davii from "Someone Like You" (though only in a couple of scenes; it clearly sets up a future relationship between Davii and Nick for a follow-on sequel). But the story is clearly about Nick Dunhill, Blaine's nephew/son, and the year he spent in 2003 growing up and growing through (not over) the trauma and tragedy of Sept 11, 2001. Unlike the other TJB novels, it clearly focuses exclusively on one main character: Nick, who is the narrator and through whose eyes we see all the events involved. At the beginning of the book, Nick is a 19 year old boy, wanting to find himself and wanting to overcome the fears and traumas experienced on 9/11, and, to some extent, even before that within his disfunctional immediate family. By the end of the novel, Nick is a 19 year old young man, not yet full grown but no longer a kid. We see him learning how to make decisions, get a better understanding of himself and his needs, and come to appreciate how much he loves and is loved. Frankly, I can't see how he could possibly turn out badly (he doesn't), considering how much he is loved by so many fine adult role models who don't hesitate to express their affection and concern. Lucky kid. He also begins repairing bridges with those of his immediate family that he cares about most and with whom he can hope to share his future life in some fashion (his mother and his twin brother). Great kid, great story, sets up an even better sequel in about 18 months. If you liked the earlier Timothy James Beck novels (any of them), buy this one and enjoy it. Great read. Strongly recommended, no reservations.

Meet Nick Dunhill, yet another midwestern boy from Eau Claire, Wisconsin. Nick is newly 19, and he feels fate and heredity has cast him as "the disappearing or invisible one" with his family, friends and relationships. You see, Nick is gay and his father, brothers and classmates are such that they would rather rip out their chest hairs rather than accept someone who is gay. That's why he left Eau Claire two years ago and moved to New York City to live with his gay Uncle Blaine. Now it is 2003 and Nick has decided to "find" himself, his future and the answer to his question, "Does anything last?". He does this by dropping out of college, moving out of his uncle's apartment and finding one of his own in East Harlem with three other people. I guess this would make WHEN YOU DON'T SEE ME a coming of age novel, because it follows Nick through a formative year of his life as he learns about life, love, friend, family and more. The book open on a typical NYC winter day filled with rain, sleet, slush and ice and Nick's opening line ... "I ducked underneath the diner's awning and decided the city had finally made be her bitch." With an opening like that you know this is not going be be your typical fluff fiction. As we follow Nick through the year in his life we meet wonderfully drawn and detailed characters. Some we'll learn to love; others we'll pass on just as Nick does as he learns that people aren't always what they seem. You'll meet characters from the earlier TJB books as they make cameo appearances in Nick's story. This is an added feature for long time fans of the author's work, because it is like meeting old friends and learning about what they have been up to. But the book is totally Nick's story, and maybe New york City's, too. But it's a changed New York ... one that is haunted by memory fragments of 9/11 that are lurking there waiting to rekindle fear and loss. If you're a long time reader of Timothy James Beck's novels, you're sure to love this one. Yes, it is different from the earlier books, but the recurring Beck theme of family being what you make it is still at the heart of the book. But if WHEN YOU DON'T SEE ME is the first time you've ever heard of Timothy James Beck. I encourage you to make it your first foray in fictional worlds of TJB! Do not hesitate to grab hold of it and read to your enjoyment! Though I would imagine the authors would prefer it if you actually purchased it first. I give this book my full five reading enjoyment stars.