When the Time Comes: Families with Aging Parents Share Their Struggles and Solutions

Buy this book. As the daughter of an 88-year old Alzheimer patient, I have read every book and article I could find on the topic of elderly parents; this one was the best by far. When I picked up this book, I was sad and fearful about the future for my mom. As I read it, my attitude quickly changed. These stories are deeply moving and meaningful. Author Paula Span's unfailing honesty transforms an unpleasant topic into a touching experience. Span confronts the real questions, the ones that other writers avoid or sugarcoat. If you have an elderly parent who needs your attention, this book will help you in countless ways. Even if you are not caring for an elderly parent, it is an inspiring book. I highly recommend it to every reader.

I met Paula Span as a result of reading her article in the NY Times and communicating directly with her. The small excerpt in the book on me and my Dad is in the chapter "Moving In: Shared Living". The account of our situation is entirely accurate. Since then my father took a bad fall and broke his hip and femur, which required surgery. Since then, he has been unable to live with us, and we've had experience in two facilities. I found reading Paula's book very accurate on the different options people have. More important, her true life stories which make up most of the book bring these options to life and made for a very readable and enjoyable book to immerse oneself in.

Another reviewer suggested you read this book before you need it. However, I have just finished reading it at the precise time when I need it, and my review is equally if not more enthusiastic. This wise and engaging book is turning out to be invaluable as I am helping my recently widowed mother consider a move to an assisted living facility. Thanks to the poignant characters and vibrant storytelling, it's much better than a so-called self-help book. Yet there's a lot of help to be found here as well. I keep referring back to "When the Time Comes," and not just because Paula Span is a friend and colleague. I suspect that others in my situation will find it equally useful and engaging.

This is an extremely well-researched and well-written book on a topic that's all too relevant for many people. On the one hand, it's a very practical and realistic look at the various problems, options and solutions Americans with aging parents encounter; and on the other, it's a vivid selection of stories with well-drawn characters and complex, interesting issues. If you are in this situation with a parent it's a font of information, but even if you're not (or at least not yet), it's a thoroughly compelling read. Nothing is sugarcoated here, but it's still comforting in a way, as I felt much better prepared and informed - in the face of very thorny issues - after reading it. Highly, highly recommended.

This is a book that should be read before you need it. When The Time Comes is a wonderful guide with real life stories that will help you make those hard decisions in caring for a parent or loved one. Paula provides the reader with up to date information on services, Medicare, Medicaid, as well as organizations and websites. Perhaps, it may even give you the opportunity to open a dialogue with your parent about what their hopes are for the future and what their wishes may be. I went through this twice with my parents and still found new advice in Paula's book. I would recommend this book to anyone who may be facing the challenge of becoming a caregiver.