When the Music Stopped: Discovering the Mother

I am so happy that Ms. Gradova's son has kept her memory alive in this entertaining book. It is full of drama, humor and pathos. What an amazing life they had in Chicago, as their house was an oasis and stopping point for all of the great musicians of the day. I would like to see this book made into a movie. There is such a great story within its pages that would translate magnificently to the screen. The only shortcomings of this book are the long digressions and attempts at analyzing Ms. Gradova's mind and motives from the perspective of her son as analyst. These segments detract from what is a magnificent, touching and at times heartbreaking story. If you skim over these long digressions, you'll find a wonderful story of a complex woman, who made a questionable decision to abandon her career, which haunted her and her family for the rest of her life.

We search in vain through Harold Schonberg's book, THE GREAT PIANISTS: FROM MOZART TO THE PRESENT, for the name "Gitta Gradova," a Chicago-born concert pianist and internationally acclaimed genius. How could such a respected NEW YORK TIMES critic have omitted the awesome Gitta Gradova from his carefully researched publication of 1963? Three possibilities come to mind: 1. Gitta left no recordings, 2. She dropped out "cold turkey" in 1941 (after a career of less than twenty years), 3. She was a woman. But Dr. Thomas J. Cottle, author, professor, and family therapisr, finally sets the record straight in his powerful biography of his mother, Gitta Gradova, WHEN THE MUSIC STOPPED: DISCOVERING MY MOTHER. Because of its rare candor, based on the son's keen observations and remembrances of his anguished youth spent at Hawthorne Place, Chicago, this biography is unforgettable. Born in Chicago in 1904, a city that remained her home base. Gitta Gradova (originally Gertrude Weinstock) was the youngest child of parents who had emigrated from Russia. Her ambitious father quickly recognized the exceptional gifts of his prodigy child, and saw to it that from the age of six she was directed only towards becoming a concert pianist. (In pursuit of this career, she never finished high school.) Early musical studies took place in Chicago, but as her mastery grew, her father determined that she should go to New York for further musical studies. He had met and become friends with Sergei Prokofiev, and assumed that this composer might be of help to Gitta. Their first meeting in Chicago, however, did not augur well. According to Gitta herself, when her father introduced her to Prokofiev, he asked her, "What will you play for me?" And she responded in the self-assured style (or facade) that later characterized her stage personality, "Who the hell are you? I don't want to play for you." Nevertheless, when Gitta was twelve years old, the father packed her off on a train to go all by herself to New York. Prior to her leaving, her father had asked Prokofiev to watch over her health, her well-being, and above all, her developing artistry. By Gitta's account, she was all alone when she arrived in New York, and at first did not even have a place to stay. No mention whatsoever is made of Cottle's grandmother's part - or non-part - in her husband's grandiose plans, and Cottle later addresses this separation, imposed on a young child, as one of several experiences that may explain some of his mother's behavior - especially her all-consuming animosity towards him, the rare male over whom she ever had any control. Later, she actually managed to spend a fair amount of time with Prokofiev, and although she was never really overly fond of him, still she did respect him. He had a salutary effect on her musical growth, and she was most indebted to him for introducing her to Sergei Rachmaninov, her lifelong friend and mentor. (Despite her eventual vast repertoire, she still tended t

This is a story about a fascinating woman, the writer's mother Gitta Gradova, a brilliant pianist who--after all kinds of pressures and for all kinds of reasons--stopped performing publicly in order to raise her family. Her son has brought her back to life on the pages of this book along with her dozens of brilliant celebrated friends and colleagues. That's not the half of it, though. This writer, an experienced and articulate student of human nature whose background in psychology has--somehow--not dulled his personal honesty, takes the oppurtunity to explore the landscape of children and parents as children grow up, the motives of artists in general and of his mother in particular, the conflict all talented women face as their children are born, and the nature of performance of all kinds. Cottle's tangential discussions of the nature of art--rich with thought and examples--are more complete, provocative and loving than many books devoted to the subject. This is a book about art and a book about family showing the balance between the two that all artists most somehow find. It's a book about women and their sons, about the sacrifices and frictions of life here on earth, and ultimately about all of us.