When the Bough Breaks: Forever After the Death of a Son or Daughter

This book is, by far and away, the best for bereaved parents. I first read it after my son, Josh, was killed on September 17, 1999, and have reread it dozens of times since that awful day. The ache still crushed my heart daily, but I have every hope that it will ease. How wonderful it was to read that I will not "get over this" but will incorporate this into the rest of my life. Bereaved parents NEED ro know that they will survive, and somehow start to live again.

This is not easy material to read that is certain. The loss of a child changes people forever and hearing the insensitivity of people ("you'll get over it" / "get on with your life") just compounds the pain of reading through these interviews. Truly the human race today isn't much suited to dealing with grief and loss. We are not taught what to say, how to be compassionate, etc. One parent who lost a child was consoled by someone who said that they had recently lost a dog and understood how they felt! It's too much sometimes, but this book is certainly worth reading and would be a life line to someone who actually suffered the greatest loss of all.

Having helped run a Compassionate Friends chapter for ten years, reading the reviewers' comments reminded me of how uncannily predictable grief over a child's death is--the reactions of other people, particularly, who really don't know what to say (mainly because there is very little that can be said). Bernstein's book is a powerful message that you DO NOT recover, ever, you just adapt to a new life. It is a book every bereaved parent should read. Unfortunately, it is often a long time before reading--or anything else--can help, which is a good reason for a friend to buy a copy and give it. Thank you, Judith, for a lifeline in drowning sea.

This terrific book is intelligently written, orderly and pracitcal. I have to add, though, after reading the last review (and it broke my heart) that bereaved parents in her situation need the book When Your Friend's Child Dies by Julane Grant. This is the book for family and friends and I would suggest giving a copy to your church library or office. The pain of losing our child is so compounded by the ignorance of others. A book so small (they will read it) and so easily understood that it will absolutely change the way your friends and family accept your loss. Because it is "Forever After."

We lost our son to a brain tumor and it has been so difficult . The pain has been much more intense than I ever inagined and the hurtful things that people say. We have been told to get over this and move on. Things will get better " You have to accept this it is Gods will".Things like this came from members of our church.When The Bough Breaks tells it like it really is the loss is foreever after your chils is gone. It seems when you have lost a child your friends, church members begin to fade away. For 2 months after the funeral no one called, came from my church a place where I spent the majority of my life working, teaching, worshipping, praying, etc and it appears that no one cares. It is though you have a contagious disease.People need education on what to say and how to support people who are hurting. This book makes those of us who have had loss understand that we are not alone in our grief.