When Love Dies: How to Save a Hopeless Marriage

I found this book to be very challenging and it would help any woman wondering if their marriage is worth saving or even can be saved. I read the book to understand how women felt and what they faced with a disintegrating, loveless and what seems hopeless marriage,and the huge descision of whether to stay or give up is inevitable and must be made. The book offers hope when all seems lost and hopeless and beyond help. Many of the questions women have are addressed in the book and will help them get a clearer picture of what hope they have . The world says give up but with God there is hope and a future for a great marriage. I would recomend this book to any woman asking the question "Can I love my husband again?" or "Did I marry the wrong man?" This book will also benifit women who have not come to that cross road yet but have questions and doubts about their marriage.

I have to say that this book was a real eye opener to me. I'm the husband who is sleeping in the basement because my wife needs the "space and the time" to heal her wounds from a 25 year marriage that she feels has been terrible. I was completely lost and reading everything about marriage and how to build it stronger and also how to have a solid relationship with my wife. Even now, I struggle as I wait for her to heal. I see small steps. This book helped me to see things from her perspective. The author has a wonderful way of explaining the facts and what needs to be done on her part. It also, and maybe this is mostly what this book did for me, helped me to know how I could improve and make the healing easier to do for her. Now, it ain't easy, but if you love your wife, you WILL DO IT! Good luck and may you be successful in your endeavor to save your marriage. This book will give you peace and will settle your anxieties.

Judy Bodmer hit the nail on the head. I felt trapped in a hopeless marriage destined to fail. I was on the edge ready to throw in the towel. The only thing that kept me from leaving was how it would affect the children. I remember the abandonment I felt when my parents divorced, and I didn't want my girls to experience that pain. I've searched for a book that would give me a good reason to stick it out in this loveless marriage. I found this book. This book was speaking to me like nothing I had ever read before. It was as if she was speaking about my life. What I learned about myself through reading this book is that I've been putting up many emotional barricades which made it almost impossible for me to get close to anyone including my husband. I didn't want to give up control of my emotions for fear of being crushed by an unloving husband. I found that I was not forgiving my husband for hurting me, although I was doing to same thing to him. This book does not point the finger at women for what's failing in the marriage, but it certainly opened my eyes about what I have been doing to sabatoge the relationship.

I had come to the brink of divorcing my husband but something kept telling me that divorce wasn't the answer. However, I was miserable in the relationship and continuing on the way things were was not going to work. I was very bitter and resentful towards my husband, who I felt at the time had abandoned me emotionally. I really felt like if I divorced him, I would never marry again because he had ruined the romantic notion of marriage I had once had. My faith in love and kindness was non-existent. God must have led me to this book during one of my endless online searches for guidance and advice about my situation. The title of the book seemed perfect for me because on the surface, I really didn't care any more to repair my marriage. I was emotionally exhausted but I thought deep-down that I really didn't want to divorce my husband. I wanted HIM to do all the work to repair our marriage because I was TIRED. Reading this book, I cried with RELIEF. Judy Bodmer must have been quoting my thoughts when she wrote this book. Nearly everything she went through, I had experienced as well. It is very comforting to know that there is hope for you when you see how well things turned out for her after things had once appeared so hopeless. I find her advice particularly refreshing, especially the section on forgiveness. She doesn't tell you to be a martyr and in fact advises you NOT to be one. If you aren't ready to forgive your spouse, just say, "I'm not ready yet." But if you ARE ready, that's it. You let it all go and don't bring up the past wrong-doing again. Judy Bodmer also acknowledges that the urge to bring up past wrong-doings is going to happen again and again because we are human but she uses references from the Bible to help you through these moments. Although the book has some strong Christian-based beliefs throughout it, that should not deter a person from buying the book and benefitting from it if he or she is not Christian. There is no "bible-thumping" going on and her themes of forgiveness and personal accountability in relationships is universal. This book restored my faith in love and has helped me on the road to healing and honestly LOVING my husband as I realized I didn't before. For these reasons, I consider this book a priceless resource. I'd give it six stars if I could.

This book is no "Ten Easy Steps" that you scan through, nod your head in causual acknowledgement and put upon the shelf. Judy Bodmer grabs your intellect and your heart from the first page. It reads like a story. It's hard to put down because it goes right to that sad, dark place inside and throws light and insight. This book is about growth and love.