When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden: Encouragement for Couples Facing Infertility

I have been dealing with personal infertility for over 10 years and this is the first book I've read that has thoroughly "hit every nail on the head." I would very strongly recommend it to anyone dealing with personal infertility and to those who are desiring to help bear this heavy burden of loved ones. If you are not sure how to respond to or help your loved one, this book will give you great insight. It was a blessing to me spiritually, emotionally, and even technically as I face Artificial Reproduction options.

Striving to support and comfort acquaintances, friends and family when they are hurting emotionally is a desire people often feel inadequate and ill-prepared to fulfill. Having a loved one who for years had known the struggles, disappointments and intensity of infertility treatment caused an internal yearning to better perceive the aching in my friend's heart. Although reading about these experiences could never give the same understanding as having personal involvement, "When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden", co-written by Sandra Glahn and Dr. William Cutrer, provides the reader with knowledge that equips a more informed listener, gives a better sense of compassion and sensitivity and encourages the confidence to know that sometimes efforts to comprehend and feel some of the hurting one's pain along with them, is far more helpful than words of advice offered. This is a great book for anyone living through the heartaches of infertility or for those who hope to reach out in support and answer the call "to bear one another's burdens". Also a benefit realized in reading this book is that the Biblical principles referenced can be used as precepts of guidance in other personal struggles, as well. This is a book full of encouragement for the discouraged; and in addition, this writing will lend wisdom to the influence projected into another's life.

This is the first book I have read that really, really addresses the emotional aspects of infertility (not the medical/technical ones) and has answers for how to deal with them. I keep turning to it in moments of lonliness and despair--and it is always helpful. It has brought me a lot closer to God and made me realize that no matter how alone I feel at times, I never am. This book is excellent!

Sandra's obvious compassion and empathy shined through this book, and the Biblical quotes given in the book were wonderful. This book has helped me resolve some of the questions I had as a Christian dealing with infertility. I especially appreciated her comments on those dealing with secondary infertility.

Sandra Glahn, former RESOLVE board member, transforms long-term pain into heartening encouragement as she shares her decade-long struggle with infertility. Intimately and personably written, When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden delivers solid facts and detailed information. With moments of true-to-life humor, it addresses the moral, marital and spiritual challenges involved in the struggle to have children. Giving the topic a unique perspective, Glahn has teamed up with co-author,William Cutrer, M.D., a physician who also holds a graduate-level theology degree. Using numerous case histories as well as Glahn's personal testimony, they provide knowledgeable advice and answers to many of the key questions infertility patients ask. They focus much of their efforts on the emotional and spiritual struggles, though they also detail medical issues. The book begins with a focus on dynamics in the marriage relationship, discussing the different ways wives and husbands typically handle the stress and grieving process: "Why do I feel like I'm going crazy?" "How do we keep romance alive?" The authors provide appropriate (sometimes amusing) responses to well-meaning friends and family who just can't say anything right. Using examples and insights from the Bible, they address the painful question so many of us ask, "Why,God?" The book ends with several chapters devoted to the latest high-tech fertility treatments, including donor insemination, donor eggs and surrogacy, as well as the ethical considerations involved. Secondary infertility, adoption, and the option of living childfree are also addressed. Each chapter concludes with a list of thought-provoking questions for couples' discussion. To help those who desire to personally research certain issues, the authors also provide a list of resources for further reading. Of particular interest are the on-line resources they include. Weaving logic and emotion, facts and feelings, Glahn and Cutrer send a message of encouragement and hope to those who ask "What if God never gives us children?"