What the Bible Says about Child Training: Parenting with Confidence

Inaccurate website description, based on the picture expected newer edition instead received a 90's edition.

I read quite a bit. And while most books are good and very helpful, there are only a few I read every year that I get really excited about. Last year, Fugate's book on Child Training was one of them. I recommended this book to everyone I knew, INCLUDING to people without children. I wasn't just excited about the things I learned about child training, I was excited about the things I learned about myself and people in general. I'm in the financial planning business so I deal with people everyday on what I consider to be important issues concerning their future. Talking to people about money and their future is an incredibly difficult calling because our culture today is one of consumerism, instant gratification, and an attitude of "I want what I want and I want it right now!" Now what does that attitude describe? A child. I often say that most people are emotional 5 year olds. (If you don't believe so, then just read some of these reviews.) Reading his book opened up for me possible answers to why that is. If we aren't trained to exert our will and beat our sin nature as children, as adults it becomes even harder. (If you're honest, we all do things that are wrong knowing full well they are wrong BEFORE we do them. Then we pretend we regret doing them afterwards. How is that even possible? To know something is wrong, do it anyway, and then "feel" bad afterwards but not while doing it. Sounds like a child to me. Everyone always quotes John 3:16. But they ignore 3:19 which says we LOVE our darkness.) Fugate's description of what a child really means and feels when they say, "I love you," I believe describes most adults attitudes in relationships and marriage. Look at the divorce rate inside the church. It's the same as outside the church. If most professing Christians really were indwelt with the Holy Spirit, I don't believe the numbers would be the same. With children and most adults, it's not about sacrificial love, it's a selfish love that only makes us "feel" good. His description of children not really being sorry for their actions but sorry for getting caught - doesn't that sound like most adults? We don't regret our actions, only the results, only the fruit. We want to do whatever we want and have the fruit magically appear anyway. Almost everything he described in childish behavior can be seen in a lot of adults today. And now because of his book I believe one of the main reasons is because we're not even taught how to recognize when our sin nature gets a hold of us. How can we combat Satan if we don't even recognize his work in our hearts? How, if we are not "trained" to see it? As evidenced by some of the venomous post by Christians about this book. I'm broken, Fugate is broken, all of you are broken. Where is the "Grace" you so loudly proclaim that Fugate ignores? (Which he doesn't) Where is the "grace" you so meanly proclaim that Jesus gives to us but which you obviously refuse to give to others? How ironic. You people attack with

I'm a 43 year old father of four young ones, and was not raised with disciplined training or self-control. Consequently, my opinion of and confidence in my parenting abilities have always been poor; being evidence with poor fruit. I'm well familiar with the famous/infamous "Pearls" - Michael and Debbi - of Nogreaterjoy notoriety. We got involved with their writings when my children were very young - and had extremely poor results with them. So much so that I basically kicked Michael and Debbi out of my house, and turned my back on the whole corrective/chastisement process of child training. (And for this reason, I do not recommend their writings to young parents just starting out. Both Michael and Debbi do not present Biblical chastisement clearly enough to prevent many well-intentioned parents from making dreadful mistakes; akin to giving a loaded weapon to an untrained 4 year old.) But just because the Pearls have communication issues doesn't mean corrective child training can be ignored. The problem for so many - myself front and center - is the improper application of it. If a person doesn't understand or have a good heart about using a rod or stick to physically switch or "correct" their child, it would be best if they used something else - as ineffective as it may be. As important, essential, and vitally necessary corrective child-training is, it will make a situation much much worse if misapplied. (And very few of these child-training writers stress that enough, IMHO.) But don't be misled: children *must have* pressure applied to their wills in order to guide their behavior into accepted channels. The person who thinks their child can be self-trained, or that a child is trained simply by being around a kind and gentle person is vastly fooling him/her self. Unless a child is forcefully corrected, his/her sin nature will plot a invariably self-destructive course. Here is what God actually says about corrective training: Psalms 89:30-33, "If his children forsake my law, and walk not in my judgments; If they break my statutes, and keep not my commandments; Then will I visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes. Nevertheless my lovingkindness will I not utterly take from him, nor suffer my faithfulness to fail." (Please understand: God's ways are eternal. He does not change His mind like we do.) Proverbs 13:24, "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." Proverbs 22:15, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." Proverbs 23:13-14, "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell." Proverbs 29:15, "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame." The Apostle Paul warns erring Christians: 1 Corinthians 4:21, "What will ye? shall I come unto y

This book is very important for parents to understand the proper training and bringing up of children. It will help those parents that are sick and tired of the "Worlds" way do raising children. It will help new christian parents to change their parenting style to be more godly. It will help "old" christians to realize how much of the world has crept into their homes. This is a must read for anyone who has a "strong-willed" child, a child labled as ADD, ADHD, and other sicknesses. Win back the hearts of your children today - don't let the devil have them - read this book and change your ways.

The one star reviews here are the reason why we have record numbers of children either in jail or dead due to Un Godly Behavior. These people grossly mis-state mr Fugates explanation of the scripture on the Rod. He did not write what they purport in their reviews. Mr Fugate did not write this stuff...God did.. that is if you believe God wrote the Bible or you believe it is at least God inspired. Read revelation and you will not have to imagine Jesus striking someone. He tells you he is going to do it. He came here the 1st time to fullfill the scriptures, not abolish them. He came to lead by example. To tell you how you should live. He did not abolish any scriptures, including those that tell you to use the rod to chasten your children and admonish you to correctly use of the rod. I bought this book in 1992. I had a newborn a 2 year old and a 4 year old at this time. Best investment I ever made. Every Christian School our children has ever been in I have always heard nothing but kudos about our childrens behaior. They are now 13, 15 and 17. It has also has caused them to have self discipline and excel in their studies. The earlier a child learns that discipline eminates from love to inpire obedience in them and to respect authority, the better off everyone is. After 1-2 years of consistant application of these principle I NEVER have had to use ANY kind of force with them. Why? Because they learned Love and Obedience from the rod. I have also been in public places, the beach, restraunts, amuesment parks and had people walk up to me and compliment me on my childrens behavior. As Mr fugate correctly points out... the only persons intended to discipline child are the parents, grandparents, god impowered authorities and God. Parents must take on this charge and not leave it to strangers. Mr Fugate relates what the the scripture says, to lay "stripes" on your child with a rod. It does not say pummel them or leave bruises. Just enough force to make the child feel it and regret his behavior. It says to leave stripes (red marks not bruises, which will go away in less than an hour if you administered properly.) He also states to use the rod in cases of absolute rebellion. But as far as infants... even babies can rebel, any parent knows that, and yes you can even start to discipline at that age. Of course common sense tells you dont need to use much force, and dont need to leave stripes at this age. All I had to do is say NO and tap their little hand. This book is for anyone who has read the Bible cover to cover (or willing to read the bible like any other book, not piecemeal, creating doctrine that one wants to create to justify their own beliefs) willing to accept what it says, not what they want it to say. Give it a try

Do we really look at the world around us, the state of the public school system and the ungrateful children there as healthy? I suppose parents don't want to be responsible and therefore don't see why children need to be? ... As for me and my house, we realize that it takes a great deal of energy and commitment to lovingly raise children. I am a very educated, post-graduate degreed person and I tried diligently to parent with all the creative, liberal mumbo jumbo methods I educated myself on. And my child was an unhappy, holy terrorist to homes, restaraunts and other children. Finally, I got a real advice--from the Bible. I read "Child Training Tips" by Reb Bradley and then this book. I had no idea there was so much advice on child-rearing in the Bible. But there is, and let me testify that by implementing rational, firm discipline, my child has made a complete turn around. She is happy, well-mannered, well-adjusted, kind and thankful. A small paddle to the bottom for reasonable reasons is far less cruel than letting a child grow up to be an irresponsible, ungrateful adult... People are so far out in left field about corporal punishment. I was spanked exactly five more than well-deserved times as a child and my respect for my mother thereafter kept me a very well-behaved, responsible young lady and a woman with good social skills and a responsible social attitude... This is a good book. Don't be scared to do the right thing.