What If I Tell?

What if I Tell is an unflinching look at child abuse and its effects and consequences. Sexual abuse plagues societies around the world but seems to always stay a level below people's radar, allowing it to continue to flourish and inflict pain on innocent victims. For such a pervasive and devastating problem, it is so rarely acknowledged, recognized, or understood. McCabe provides a first-hand account in a style of writing that speaks to both adults and children alike, allowing her deeply personal and piercing account to be accessible to everyone who suffers from (or knows someone who suffers from) this particularly egregious form of abuse. Her clarity is refreshing, as is her honesty. McCabe holds no bars, pulls no punches, and shows every aspect of the prism of child sexual abuse and how it renders its victims. McCabe breaks taboos in a revolutionary way in her memoir that shows, in a bright and profound light, the courage and virility of victims of abuse and their ability to transform themselves from victims to survivors with resoundingly courageous voices. McCabe blazes a trail, with candor and eloquence, for other victims who have been silenced and need a light to show them along the path to speaking out and enacting change. A must-read not only for victims and those around them, but for all.

I couldn't put this book down as McCabe's story connected with me. She is an honest and amazing writer who had a very important story to tell. Although McCabe wrote a book about her own life; it was so similar to mine that I was sucked into the comparison. What is so sad is that child sexual abuse is more prevalent than we choose to acknowledge. However, it is comforting to know that I am not alone in my battle. I want to thank McCabe for having the courage to tell her story and help others. We have to be the generation to stop the incredibly high statistic that 1 in every 4 children suffer from sexual abuse! One fourth ... we need to demand better than this. Although the subject of this book may seem daunting and dark, the story is nothing close. It is a journey about courage, hope, healing and honesty and leaves you with renewed strength and spirit. Anyone who has been through turmoil in their childhood and was successful at masking it in their 20s, knows it comes pouring out in your 30s. This book will give you the strength to heal and make you realize that you are not alone.

If you were not a victim of sexual abuse as a child or have never had a close relationship with someone who was, reading this book will probably be difficult for you. I have had close relationships with multiple people who were sexually abused as children and had a hard time plowing through the retelling of the events and the author's thoughts. As the author describes her adult experiences she expresses her thoughts in italicized captions. Those captions express her fears, insecurities and angers, as her mind races while her body is moving slowly. Someone unfamiliar with these thoughts, so typical of victims, quite likely will find it repetitive, self-destructive and annoying. It will be very easy to simply stop and say, "C'mon, deal with it and go on and live your life." The thoughts and insecurities, feelings of unworthiness, the knowledge that the worst is going to happen, so you might as well force it and have it happen on your time and terms rather than by someone else are all typical of sexual abuse victims. Even in the best of times, the insecurities can become so powerful that they consume them, leading to feelings of dread and a belief that their death would improve the state of the world. McCabe sets all of these feelings down, baring her innermost feelings in a manner that had to have been both difficult and cathartic. The struggles of sexually abused children are lifelong, with many never, ever seeming to cope with it. Even those who do cope often manage to just submerge it rather than overcome it. From this book, that is the category where I would place McCabe.

What if I Tell? is a courageous, candid memoir written by a well-educated, articulate businesswoman who, as her second marriage begins to crumble amid juggling a stressful career and managing panic, anxiety and depression, confronts the memories of being sexually abused as a child--and how those tragic events shaped her life to this point in time. McCabe, an excellent writer, doesn't sensor her thoughts or her words as they flow on the pages and because of that fact the reader will be very aware of her emotions at all times, never having to second guess her meaning. Her spunk and her commitment to working through the shame, anger and inability to trust, to better her life, and then sharing that information with us holds valuable insights for others who have suffered childhood sexual abuse. With self help books being the craze and gurus telling us we need to read this one or that one to fix our lives, it's rare to find that the real key to unlocking the door to life isn't found in a self help book at all, but a memoir. If you're a survivor of sexual abuse, whether or not you've worked through the trauma, this book will be beneficial and comforting for you. It will open emotional doors that were previously closed, locked, and barricaded. It will provide you with hope and let you know you're OK and that there are others out there just like you who are willing to blindly find their way through all the emotional "crap" toward healing. Even if you're not ready to admit you may have been sexually abused as a child, or if you wonder, McCabe's book is an excellent, "safe," precursor to looking into your own soul. Although her story is just one of many who've made the journey toward healing, McCabe is gifted in the fact she has the whither all to effect a change, to bring the memories into the light, to stay in the pain, and to give courage to other women (or men) who are about to embark on their own journeys of dealing with the intensity of abuse. She allows you to walk with her through her pain, giving you a front row seat to her soul during her darkest days. She shows you that you will come out on the other side--that joy, love, happiness and even trust can exists after childhood sexual abuse. Total reading time in one sitting--two hours. Two hours that could change your life.

Gina McCabe is an incredible woman who realized how keeping things inside hurts everyone. This is an amazing story of how she let the secret out slowly but surely and found the strength to confront her issues head on. Read this book to get a perspective that you might never have known before and learn from Gina and her progress to fight your own issues.