What I Thought I Knew

Close your eyes. Listen! ... It would have been great if you heard a train and better yet if you could have felt its power. (This will make sense after you read this book) If not, did you hear your heart? No, no, not its beat, but its ability to love, its capacity to heal, its desire for tranquility. Couldn't "hear" anything? Then I recommend you read: What I Thought I Knew. Stahura's essays are for those looking for that hard to find inner self where one learns that you may have to let go in order to possess; that Faith can't be taught in Church; and, that love really can overcome all. -- Charlie Redner

The "Personal Essay" is a tricky genre. How does documentation of one person's life make the connective leap to those outside the circle of that writer's individual experience? Each essay penned by Barbara Stahura in "What I Thought I Knew" finds root in our basic fears, our emotional struggles, and subsequently touches a universal nerve. Unlike other "inspirational" publications, Stahura's revelations follow the writer's maxim of "SHOW, don't TELL". She IS a truth teller--even when that truth is uncomplimentary. Stahura unwraps each process of personal growth and shows, by example, a path to being that Best Person we each aspire to. What I learned from Barbara's book is that a critical step to being whole is to be bravely honest, first, with myself. I would recommend "What I Thought I Knew" to anyone who is--or has--struggled with self-empowerment, with self-doubt, or with the complicated maneuverings of this life's journey. And isn't that all of us?

"I cried more from anger and humiliation than the slight sting. Spankings were for babies! How could my father do this to me when I was so grown up? (at 10).... He sent me to my room, and despite my shame, the only thing I could think to do was try to make things better with him again. He needed to know I was still a good girl and wouldn't do bad things again. What would I do if my dad didn't love me?" Ok, I confess. I've not finished Barbara's book yet...but I know I will because it has already enhanced my life and my relationship with my 16-year old daughter. I read about Barbara's break with her dad after being spanked at 10-years old where she writes, "Something tore in my chest -- I could literally feel it -- as my heart twisted and broke, severing for me something elemental in our relationship." Well, after reading that I walked into my daughter's bedroom to let her know that no matter what she might do in life, whatever 'bad behavior' or whatever she might do that I might not agree with, even dating or marrying some guy I didn't like... there was nothing she could do that would have me not love her. So, this is a book to be savored for it reveals life -- real and authentic life. Read this book and if it touches your heart as much as it has mine, share it with all your friends. It deserves to be read by many during these troubling times for through it the author shares her 'truth,' in a way that can touch our hearts and return us to ourselves.

"Words that arise with coherence and beauty on the page, that's the holy mystery I serve. Like the nuns devoted to God, on my best days writing lets me serve something larger than myself: human self-expression that occasionally touches someone else's heart and brings us closer together." Barbara Stahura In her first collection of personal essays titled "What I Thought I Knew," Barbara Stahura raises the bar for essay writers and readers alike. Her voice is clear, her writing clean and tight, and downright elegant. Stahura has years of interview experience with the likes of Deepok Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Don Miguel Ruiz, Louise Hay, Biologist Bruce Lipton, and Artist Valarie James (to name but a few.) She's no stranger to provocative questions and digging deep for answers. It appears as though Stahura knows how to use those same tools to explore her own psyche and life experiences, deftly crafting pieces in which she generously shares her insights, her feelings, and her transformational shifts. An excellent essay lays track for the reader to appreciate from an observer point of view as well as inspiring the reader to self-exploration. These are excellent essays. The light Stahura shines on her interior processes shines through her work. Regardless of the genre, when a writer risks the deep honesty Stahura works from, an authentic connection is bound to happen. Here's the bottom line: when I started reading this book I just didn't want to stop. Whether Stahura is describing her relationship with her father, her Catholic school experience, her quantum leap from certain death looming in the corporate world to finding her soul's calling, or the "tectonic" shift in her life when beloved husband Ken suffered severe brain trauma from a hit-and-run motorcycle accident, she never leaves her reader. We may not have covered the literal territories she describes, but we've all experienced the same very human emotions. She writes for herself and she writes for us; the result is our joining in a deeply satisfying seamless encounter. In her own words; "Sometimes, I wake up early in my grown-up bed, windows open around it, and hear the distant whistles of trains. It is then I remember that little girl who did not yet know the most important thing her grown-up self would learn: Life is all about choices. Learning how to change your mind, when the moment is right, is often the best gift you can give yourself." The second best gift you can give yourself is this book.

I've been a big fan of Barbara's for a long time. Her articles for Science of Mind Magazine are always thought provoking and very insightful. What delights me about this book is her ability to talk so honestly about love, loss, fear and courage. From the opening short story about her father's death when she was a teenager to the closing story of facing her fears after her husband's motorcycle wreck, she hooks you. She is a writer's writer. Her words are eloquent, honest and filled to the brim with her own truths. There is are passages that can make you laugh out loud "fetus man" comes to mind. The candor with which she shares the terror and courage in leaving corporate america to start her own free lance career is nothing short of brilliant writing. ("Soon co-workers and executives told me the company had never had a better written employee news magazine. But after four years, my idea of hell was writing that magazine for all eternity. Corporate communications was confining, relentlessly one-sided, and instead of following my passion, I now was flogging it to death, one press release, one shareholder brochure at a time.") She captures something unique, the feelings, the fears and the part of life that so many writers dare not share. They are too personal or private or guarded. We are fortunate that Stahura has agreed to share, for in her sharing we find strength, we all get a little stronger, a little braver, a little more real. "Following the Call" Page 28 "Whether it's serving God or writing essays, building boats or raising children, every call arises from passion. Suprisingly, I've found this passion to be nutured by many unexpected sources: a career that does not fit, feeling so stuck you can move only if you learn to fly, people who make you crazy, situations that hurt so much you want to die. The key is taking the time and finding the strength to listen to what these things are telling you." From What I Thought I Knew