What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind

I liked this book for the quality of the writing as much as for the content. I hope lots of American women read it, though I don't think it will make too much of a difference in influencing the way they act with men. Just a hunch. In Boston/Cambridge, where lots of unfriendly young people abound, you can't even get eye contact on the street from 90 percent of the people--they're all on their cell phones managing their lives, not being present. And this is a college town. Before you can flirt, and go outside your comfort zone (like French women apparently can) you have to be able to trust, take chances, and know and like yourself. Perhaps that's what the French women are grounded in from childhood, not to mention feeling good about sex. American women, in my experience, don't express their feelings well; asking for what they want--especially regarding sex and love. When I was a teenager (now 60) and heard Diana Ross and Linda Ronstadt sing, it was an incredible turn on for me; discovering that women have sexual desire and love desire for a man. I rarely experience it from American women which is why this book gave me hope. I may or may not get along with a French woman but I'm glad they are out there being steamy. Hope springs eternal.

Obviously, French women are thought of as more chic and, quite possiblly, more worldly than Americans. However, this book doesn't exploit that. It's really just telling you what matters the most and how to make the most of what you have. It's a great read and I thought, quite empowering. It's good, for me, to read about other cultures and how the sexes react towards one another. In France, it seems that relations between men and women are just mutually beneficial. A great read for women who want to do better with men and be more aware of how they can 'work it.' I recommend this one highly, along with Man Magnet: How to Be the Best Woman You Can Be in Order to Get the Best Man-A Guide To Dating (Revised Edition).

I loved Debra Ollivier's earlier book, Entre Nous: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl, which is more of a how-to book on acquiring the je ne sais quois, sang froid of French girl chic that is more than effortless scarf-tying. That book was also an intelligent discussion of how some of the cultural differences that shape the average French woman differ from those shaping the Anglo-American woman. This book takes that discussion much further. It is not at all a how-to book. You might be able to extrapolate a few behaviors from this discussion, but unless you are relating to a Frenchman, you may find yourself misunderstood. What comes off as charmingly coy and mysterious in a Frenchwoman may be seen as stuck-up and bitchy in an American woman. Maybe not. The overall message in this book, as well as the earlier book, is that a Frenchwoman does what she likes and does not worry about others' opinions. She does follow social protocols, for the most part- for example, it is understood that a beau will bring flowers on the first "date"--the French don't date like we do either-- pay for the meals, and so forth. Fundamentally, though, according to Ms Ollivier, who is an American married to a Frenchman who lived in France for 10 years and still has a home in Paris, the French are private people who do not care what the public at large thinks. Their homes cannot be seen into from the street. They do not tell all, even to their spouses. They like mystery and secrets and discretion. Ollivier tells us that the French have wonderful mixed gender friendships, and flirtation is expected. A husband is proud that his wife attracts admirers, not threatened. Women are close to their fathers, brothers, and have many male friends. The down side appears to be that women do not have particularly good relationships with other women. C'est la vie. Ollivier tells us about real French people, not the handful of Left Bank stereotypes we have seen on our travels. French women do get fat and dress badly, but apparently, they have many types of vibrant relationships with men. Sign me up!

"What French Women Know" is a well written, engaging analysis of the differences between women in French and US society. The author examines literary sources, historical figures and modern mores to expose and explain the French woman and her mystic. The book is divided into seven chapters; each chapter focuses on a different piece of the French woman's stereotypical allure. An analysis of chapter one, "Men", is helpful in explaining the authors approach to her examination of French women. In this chapter the author compares and contrasts French and American women's relationships with men. She sees American women as having almost an adversarial relationship with men and a sisterhood with other women. French women, on the other hand, seem to consciously adore men and are a bit chilly toward their own gender. This basic difference is examined and various explanations are served up. The author sees differences in socialization as having a major impact on gender relations. (Interestingly enough, the author notes that the French don't dote on gender differences, seeing the sexes as more "like kind"). The author explains that French society does not segregate the sexes in the way American society does socially. Sexual homogony is not a desirable feature at a dinner party in France. (So much for girl's night out!) Differences in Social status are also examined and explained. It would seem that historically women have been listened to and revered in French society in a way they have not in America. The author offers up Marianne, the symbol of the French Republic, as an example of French societies attitude toward women. Marianne is political, she is passionate, she is comfortable in the company of men and represents all members of society, she is also in possession of a pair of perfectly proportioned breasts, which she proudly displays Au naturel. She notes that American women would be hard pressed to find a similar figure in our society. Yes, we have the Statue of Liberty, but then, she was a gift from France. The next six chapters provide a succinct analysis of the French woman's approach to: Mystery, Rules, Perfection, Nature, Art De Vivre and Body. The book is an effective mix of observation, anecdote and historic analysis. There is something here for thinking women of all ages and nationalities.