Well Blow Me Down: A Guy's Guide to Talking Like a Pirate

I worked on this book with Bob. It is a masterpiece of creativity and will take you into the depths of your subconscious to create transformation. Excursions through the mind, body and soul await you when you utilize the inductions whether you read them from the book or listen to the CDs. Expect changes in your attitude toward food, relationships, and more!!

Baur and Summers had no great motive for inventing a holiday, as they explain succinctly in Chapter Two: "Talking like a pirate is fun. It's really that simple." And to help readers engage in as much fun as possible, they have devised the parameters of Pirattitude, the state of mind needed to squeeze the most juice from the day. The definition and test for Pirattitude waits in Chapter Three. Then, in Chapter Four, you can try your hand at a brief test of pirate trivia to prove if you know the name of Blackbeard's ship (was it Queen Anne's Revenge or Sissybritches?) and if a proper slug of grog contains rum or Sprite as a primary ingredient. Trust me, the test isn't very hard. OK, now we get to the meat of the book. You wanna talk like a pirate? You gotta know the lingo. And these guys want to help you, although they readily admit their research "involved more beer and pizza than actually looking things up." So get ready to pepper your speech with everything from "avast" to "barnacle," from "lubber" to "wench," from "booty" to "salmagundi." And, once you know the words, these scurvy sea dogs help you still more by describing ways to put your new vocabulary to work at home, school, work, church and pretty much anywhere else you might find yourself. (They even provide the very helpful warning that "most women do not consider the phrase 'Prepare to be boarded!' an adequate substitute for foreplay.") To fill out the book (because it really is pretty slim, after all) the two rum-soaked bilge rats (see how I cunningly weave these piratical words into my text?) provide the lyrics to a new pirate song, biographical tidbits about some real, honest-to-gosh pirates as well as some who exist only on the silver screen, a personality test to determine your level of pirattitude, an advice column and a peek at Baur and Summers' secret ambition. That's it. That's all there is to it. Well Blow Me Down! is a funny, silly book by two silly, funny men who had nothing to do so they created a modern phenomenon. So don't forget to celebrate Mark's ex-wife's birthday each year by indulging the wee pirate that's in us all!

I find myself laughing out loud (something I haven't done since reading Bryson's, A Walk in the Woods) and thinking of all kinds of people I want to share this book with. Spritely and clever and very fun!