Walking the Parenting Tightrope: Raising Kids Without Losing Your Balance

The former executive director of small groups at Willow Creek megachurch and co-author of WALKING THE SMALL GROUP TIGHTROPE takes the business model of "polarity management" from small group leadership to parenting in WALKING THE PARENTING TIGHTROPE. But does the concept translate well? Read on. The table of contents is set up much as the small group book: looking at various challenges to be overcome. The challenges particular to parenting include training, discipline, spirituality, adolescence, finances and interdependence. Dealing with these challenges, Robinson says, requires that you hold certain things in tension (the "polarity"). In this case, the six paired points of polarity are: limits and freedom, punishment and nurturing, tradition and choice, tender love and tough love, support and self-sufficiency, and attachment and autonomy. Instead of choosing one over the other, parents "walk the tightrope," finding balance between each two. The goals parents shoot for in a child's life: wise decision-making, self-discipline, personal faith, minimal wounds, economic independence, and long-term relationship. All six sets of tensions, Robinson tells us, will keep us on our toes. One minute we'll be calm and things will be under control, the next moment we'll be knocked off balance. "But if you embrace child-rearing reality, you will stay energetically engaged in the adventure even when it feels like a circus gone awry." As the parent of one teenager who's in her first year of college, and another new college graduate living at home and working full-time, I found the section on fostering interdependence helpful (mostly under "finances" and a chapter titled "Umbilical Cords, Apron Strings, and Phone Lines.") It wasn't so much that I was looking for practical help. I mostly was looking for encouragement that my husband and I are on the right track, moving our kids from total support to self-sufficiency, and that it was okay to let them endure a share of the "failure quota" on the road to maturity. Robinson is father to three boys, and admits that "on more occasions that I can now count, Lynn (his wife) and I have been left scratching our parenting heads" and are "regularly humbled." Parenting, he acknowledges, is more art than science. There is no 10-step plan that works. There are basic principles, but no just-do-this-and-your-kids-will-turn-out-perfect set of hard and fast rules. He's vulnerable, and regularly tells you where he has failed. He also comes across as unpretentious (he describes their family devotions as ranging from "abject failure" to "moderately interesting"). This is endearing and reassuring. The good personal anecdotes about parenting (including a story about catching his son smoking pot) lend credibility to the text. There are nods to Willow Creek fairly heavily throughout the book in anecdotes, references, or teachings on various concepts. Anyone who has parented a strong-willed child will relate to some of the stories he te

In my opinion, "Walking the parenting tightrope" by author Russ Robinson was a thoughtful and a most encouraging book on parenting. This book is definitely helpful and unique.  I had some LOL times .... I loved the CLAW ! I appreciate that Russ is humble in bringing forth his personal thoughts and conclusions about how "simple" right answers are few and far between. He talks about understanding the kids temperament and the importance he finds focusing more on character than on conduct. I like that he & his wife recognize and work to understand & respect their differences of parenting styles. Russ has "enlightening" ideas of how tensions in parenting can be a good thing. I recommend this book as it has many tips and encouragements for all parents in these stressful times we live in. I certainly enjoyed reading and learning from it and I think any "tense" parent would too. This is a very positive, helpful book.

Being a good parent is a difficult and often daunting task. It is a 24/7/365 job that requires much and is done without training. There are constant tensions that can unbalance the family or at the least, individual members. In Walking the Parenting Tightrope: Raising Kids Without Losing Your Balance, author Russ Robinson negotiates the labyrinth of family life. He has adopted a business model called 'polarity management' and applies it to the job of parenting. He believes that in families there are tensions pulling/pushing at each other. Rather than choosing between sides he recommends 'going for' a balance between extremes. Robinson describes the six common parenting issues as: - The Training Challenge - The Discipline Challenge - The Spiritual Challenge - The Adolescent Challenge - The Financial Challenge - The Interdependence Challenge Robinson, through his and others personal stories, scripture, and small-group exercises, helps people navigate the tricky terrain of parenting. There are no easy answers given. But there is thoughtful advice and the encouragement to examine issues, share issues with others, and balance parental responses. Don't go for the extreme, as that what will fail. Armchair Interview says: Robinson's book is interesting and enlightening. It is not however, a manual for decision making. Reality tells us that while we want someone to tell us what to do, each family is different and requires work in balancing tension. What works in one family, with a particular family may not work for others. Know that before you read the book and commit to doing the work. There is no quick fix in balancing family tension but Robinson's book is a good guide.