Waiting for Gertrude: A Graveyard Gothic

If you love cats, and you love France, and you have an extremely peculiar sense of humor and an appreciation for the absurd, I think you'll love this book. You may even adore it. Waiting for Gertrude is set in Paris' gargantuan Pere Lachaise cemetery, where the souls of some of the notables buried therein have returned to Earth (translated, to use their term) as cats. A befurred Alice B. Toklas (the book's narrator) is waiting, and waiting, and waiting for her dear Gertrude Stein to reincarnate (translate) while Oscar Wilde pines and whines and preens hoping to attract the affection of his beloved Jim Morrison ("Jamz"), a ferocious, kitten-devouring three-testicled tomcat. All the while, quadriped versions of Isadora Duncan and Edith Piaf are making all kinds of merry hell for the other feline residents of the cemetery who include: Jean de la Fontaine, the French fabulist returned now as a second-rate tour guide who insists on delivering his lectures in iambic pentameter, and whose poems introduce the various characters and situations; Modigliani - then as now, a great painter; Rossini - an aged and quite senile cat who cannot remember he was once a composer; Collette - a high-class Persian cat of aristocratic ownership who followed a randy tomcat from her wealthy home to the cemetery, and now a noted teacher of yoga; Chopin - the once-composer and now Per Lachaise's Postmaster General, where the cats have learned how to write and do write often; Sarah Bernhardt - still an actress despite losing a leg; Marcel Proust - a Private Investigator investigating a series of mysterious thefts taking place over the course of the novel and whose head is often - quite literally - stuck up his nethermost orifice in search of inspiration; Heloise and Abelard - back on Earth as kitties who are, respectively, a highend caterer and "lifestyle consultant" and a publicist; and, Ondine - the only human character, known as the "Spay Queen;" the cats' arch-nemesis and an enthusiastic proponent of feline population control Readers who appreciate a novel that is extremely weird but profoundly humorous and satirical will enjoy Waiting for Gertrude. Part romance, part fantasy, and part satire, the reader who enjoys Monty Python and Douglas Adams will be perfect for this insane look at the afterlife. You simply have to love a book containing a sentence that reads, "There never was such a ratter as Sarah Bernhardt!" What a fun read!

This is one of my absolutely favorite books. The story is funny, sweet and whimsical. If you aren't partial to cats, this may hold no interest for you, because the entire charm of the story is the idea of all these famous (and infamous) people being reincarnated as felines. To keep faithful Alice B. Toklas company is Proust, Chopin, Collette, Oscar Wilde, Jim Morrison, Modigliani and several other former human luminaries. I pull this book out whenever I feel down or stressed-out and it never fails to cheer me up. It's an easy afternoon read. Don't pass up this little treasure!

I'm going to say this was the best book I've read in years. It was quirkey, unique and just plain fascinating. What an imagination this writer has! I love cats. I love literature! This book took those two subjects and blended them together to create the most enjoyable book I've read in a long time. I highly reccommend this to anyone who loves literature, who will appreciate recognizing literary greats plus meeting the most unsual characters ever together in a cemetary all inhabiting the bodies of stray cats!

This book is absolutely delicious! It is full of puns and hidden references. The exercise in devouring this little gem is worth every second. I didn't want it to end. It is a writers read as well as a readers read I recommend it to everyone who enjoys words. Don't waste another minute buy it! Doesn't hurt if you have spent time in Paris either.

Alice B. Tolkas was born in San Francisco. She eventually left the States to live with her love Gertrude Stein in Paris. Over twenty years after Gertrude died, Alice, who mourned her loss all that time, finally joins her beloved. Both are buried in the renowned Paris Pere-Lachaise Cemetery.However, Alice fails to catch up to Gertrude wherever she is. Instead she learns why the cemetery seems to be a haven for stray cats when she is reincarnated as a feline. She soon realizes that other famous souls buried here have been reborn as cats, but alas none are her beloved Gertrude, the only person to light her fire. All she does is pass time, eats the food brought by Ondine the Spay queen, and avoids the sorcery of some of her spookier peers. For Alice is WAITING FOR GERTRUDE to join feline heaven.Fans who appreciate a novel that is extremely weird but humorous and satirical will enjoy the odd WAITING FOR GERTRUDE. The two paragraphs above concentrate on the title player for review convenience (moi that is). However, there are several other subplots involving famous deceased that readers will be Wilde about lighting a funeral pyre and pitying poor Abelard, etc. The story line never takes itself seriously yet paints a strong message about positive relationships are important while long term quarrels, spats and everything ugly in life is a waste of time. Part romance, part fantasy, and part satire, the Monty Python crowd will be perfect for this insane look at the afterlife.Harriet Klausner