The Secret History of Alcoholism: The Story of Famous Alcoholics and Their Destructive Behavior

I just left my alcoholic husband after 6 years. I sought out andread many books on the subject to try and understand the alcoholic's behavior. This book was by far superior to any otherin describing the alcoholic's Dr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde personality.My family & friends could not believe it when I told them abouthow I was treated and the emotional abuse I endured.My husbandwas an accomplished "con artist", knew when to lay on the charm.As I was reading this book, I swore the author knew my husband.It was him to a tee. I felt validated, it wasn't me that wascrazy after all. I never realized how an alcoholic can destroynot only his or her own life, but those closest to them as well.

Anyone who has been romantically involved with an alcoholic or has an alcoholic family member owes it to themselves to read this book. While Graham focuses on famous despots, tyrants, and celebrities, the same attributes are in some degree present in your basic everyday non-famous alcoholic friend, neighbor or lover. If you love an alcoholic you must understand this. Graham points out the dangerous combination of the alcoholics charm, deception, denial and obsession with looking functional and the tendency to underdiagnose the disease. This underdiagnosis, as Graham points out, is partly due to a bias of society resulting from the ability of most people to drink alcohol without becoming an alcoholic as well as not understanding the differences between highly functional early and middle stage alcoholics and late stage lushes and winos. After reading this book I could understand what the relationsip and marriage counselors were saying about the dangers of loving an alcoholic. Alcoholics are experts at deception and manipulation, they have shallow or stunted emotional growth, they are unable to express themselves honestly and directly, and they can tell you they love you while not caring about you at all. Although they may not become a famous writer, actor, senator or spy, they will become a highly successful con artist and if you are unaware of these traits, you could easily become their victim.

I must have forgotten that I'd written a review a couple of years earlier, and somehow didn't notice the duplication. I wrote this near the publication of my first book on the subject, Drunks, Drugs & Debits: How to Recognize Addicts and Avoid Financial Abuse. My review is woefully understated and didn't begin to describe how crucial it was in the evolution of my thinking. Perhaps it's because paradigm shifts in thinking take time to digest. With this in mind, here's what I wrote way back in mid-2000: This is a phenomenally interesting work. James Graham describes the role of ego inflation in explaining behaviors in the alcoholic, something that nobody else had done before. This is extremely important, because it provides what is sometimes the only clue to alcohol addiction in the early stages of the disease-a massively inflated ego. This often results in extraordinary over achievement, even while the personal life is a shambles. Combined with Milam and Ketcham's essential work, "Under the Influence," ego-inflation explains how the early-stage addict is often so "functional" and yet, so destructive of others. Brain poisoning occurs immediately in many cases, resulting in this other-destruction. Yet, the toll on the body can take decades, making alcoholism at this stage almost invisible to the casual observer. Most think of addicts on the street, or the obvious, stumbling drunk. This is not when they are most dangerous. Their behaviors are frequently far worse when they can build up to a .20 per cent blood alcohol level without visible signs of inebriation. While Milam and Ketcham describe the biology behind this, Graham looks at the resulting behaviors, explaining much of the troubles in people's personal and professional lives, current events and even world history. Graham's work is one of the great, unheralded books on addiction. Highly recommended.

I was half-way through writing my first book, Drunks, Drugs & Debits: How to Recognize Addicts and Avoid Financial Abuse, when I found this masterpiece. Until I read it, I couldn't explain the highly functional addict. This made sense of what seemed an irreconcilable paradox. I then wrote this very early review, as I continued writing my book throughout 1998: James Graham has brilliantly explained much of mankind's most sordid history, something other historian's have failed to do. His observation that poor behavior, whether on the micro- or macro- scale, frequently has alcoholism at its roots is both perceptive and courageous. While recognizing alcoholism as a disease and pointing out it results in massive personality flaws, he calls for swift punishment of actual wrongdoings. In so doing, he is the first to truly bridge the gap between the disease model and mental health model of addiction. His explanation of a fundamental personality change caused by alcoholism, egomania, explains the rest of the bizarre and terrible behaviors of the addict. Such behaviors as false accusations and other lying, craftiness, grandiosity and unreasonable resentments suddenly make sense, even if devastating to others around them. Applying these behaviors in his search for violative, nasty, trouble-making and murderous historic names and incidents gives pause to the thoughtful reader as to the existence of addicts in both our public and private lives.

I recommend this book for nonalcoholics whose lives are affected by another person's drinking, but it's not a good choice for an active or recovering alcoholic. Graham's style imparts an understandable but misguided tone of moralism, anger and self-righteousness that's based on the common and widely accepted myth that alcoholics choose to drink and can recover if they want to bad enough and those who don't are too weak or unmotivated. That tone will unnecessarily pour salt in the painful wounds of an alcoholic. But anybody who has ever loved an alcoholic can identify with and relate to Graham's self-righteous tone. Graham does an excellent job of relating typical experiences of alcoholics as seen through the bewildered eyes and felt with the frustrated, angry emotions of the nonalcoholics who love them. Such nonalcoholics can relate to (and perhaps find comfort and relief in) his discussions of the alcoholic ego, alcoholic charm, lies, false accusations, phone addictions, paranoia, promiscuity, high tolerance for inappropriate behavior and puzzling choices of friends, as well as issues related to loyalty, control, money and parenting (among others). Nonalcoholics who have alcoholics in their lives may read Graham's book and feel a sense of "Oh, I get it! This is part of the disease, not something I'm personally doing wrong." A few months after reading this book, I read "Under The Influence," by James Milam. As somebody affected by the drinking of others, I found this to be a good pairing. Graham's book helped me understand that my experiences were typical rather than unique, and that bizarre (and downright MEAN) behaviors are an integral part of the progression of alcoholism. In contrast, Milam's book offered a deeper understanding of alcoholism as a true physiological disease and gave concrete and tragically under-publicized medical explanations for such behaviors, along with a general road map of how the nonalcoholic can truly help the alcoholic. The biggest flaw in Graham's book is his assumption that alcoholism is the result of personality flaws and lack of discipline, along with his complete lack of acknowledgement of alcoholism as a true medical disease with a physiologic genesis and progression. Alcoholism is a genetically predisposed inability to process alcohol (as Milam graphically explains), comparable to a diabetic's genetically predisposed inability to process carbohydrates. If you can get past Graham's misguided and inaccurate assumptions, "The Secret History of Alcoholism" is a great ointment for soothing the emotional wounds of nonalcoholics who love an alcoholic.