Unattended Sorrow: Recovering from Loss and Reviving the Heart

My mother had a very hard death and it took me nearly 1 1/2 years to come to peace with her death. It was Stephen Levine's "Unattended Sorrow" that brought me peace. I worked through his exercises of compassion and forgiveness - not only for my mother but myself. It was very life-changing work for me. I savoured and worked through the book a few pages at a time. I sobbed myself to sleep many nights as I worked through my grief with Unattended Sorrow in hand. I thank Stephen Levine for such an insightful book. I buy this book for friends who have experienced loss. It is not necessarily a book for reading immediately following a loss, but definitely for me it was the right book at the right time after giving some space and time after the loss.

I am a big fan of Stephen Levine's work and this was an excellent addition. There are short stories that really hit home in several areas of grief and loss. As a professional who helps caretakers find a balance between caring for their loved one and also taking care of their own needs, I read constantly about bereavement. Many of the clients I serve are actually bereaved at some point as the one they loved has died either some time ago or recently. This book has helped me to help my clients understand their feelings and move forward in a way that works for them.

I read the review that said this book is repetitive, etc. . . . and I felt I needed to share my experiences with this book. Sorrow can run deep. Especially when a pattern of grief and sorrow is laid down when you are a child; it can persistently sap your energy, your joy. What is lovely about this book is that, recognizing the persistent nature of this malaise, it gently speaks to you of other alternatives. When I was in pain, I really appreciated the slow pace; the way it is written with such kindness, and compassion; the gentleness with which the materials are presented. This book is more about helping you find your peace within your sorrow than about expressing tools and techniques; although the tools and techniques are there. It is a lovely book, and it can be very, very helpful in working through those old patterns. I highly recommend it.

After the recent, too-early loss of my youngest sister, I searched for insight to help me and my parents through our grieving. This book addresses the accumulation of sorrow due to death, loss of love, disappointment, disillusionment, rejection, betrayal and the many injuries over the years that scars our hearts and drags down our lives. The aim of the book is to help "process the grief" so we aren't overwhelmed by the anxiety, fear or anger that unresolved sorrow can bring. I feel the need to reread the book later when my mind and emotions are clearer. When grief is too fresh, it is hard to concentrate on the important concepts this book contains. Here's what is covered in the 40 chapters: Chapter 1: Unattended Sorrow Chapter 2: Every Day We Lose Something Chapter 3: The Heart of Loss Chapter 4: Softening the Belly of Sorrow Chapter 5: The Reservoir of Sorrow Chapter 6: Loss of Trust in Life Chapter 7: The Meaning of Life Chapter 8: In the Absence of God Chapter 9: When the Mirror of the Heart Is Broken Chapter 10: A Bad Dream Chapter 11: Opening the Heart in Hell Chapter 12: The Trauma of Survival Chapter 13: Connection Chapter 14: Making Peace with Our Sorrow Chapter 15: What Is the Body Pattern of Grief? Chapter 16: Reentering the Body Chapter 17: Attending the Mindset of Loss Chapter 18: A Day of Walking Chapter 19: Heart Breath Chapter 20: Tapping the Resources of the Heart Chapter 21: Loving Kindness Chapter 22: A Day in the Heart of Pain Chapter 23: Making Peace with Our Pain Chapter 24: Mindfulness: An invitation to Liberation Chapter 25: A Day of Silence Chapter 26: Breaking the Isolation of Fear Chapter 27: Forgiveness Chapter 28: A Day of Forgiveness Chapter 29: Our Most Ordinary Existential Grief, Our Very Human Architecture Chapter 30: Overcoming Perfection Chapter 31: The Ten Thousand Sorrows Chapter 32: A Day of Singing Chapter 33: Our Life Is "Just This Much" Chapter 34: The Map of Our Lives Chapter 35: Who Are We When We Are Not Who We Thought We Were? Chapter 36: A Day of Compassion Chapter 37: A Day As If It Were Our Last Chapter 38: A Heart Revived into a New Life Chapter 39: Day in a Life of Love Chapter 40: Gratitude

I'm a new widow having lost my love after almost 40 years. Went through service, thank you notes, legal stuff, but why didn't I feel better? Unattended Sorrow came to my rescue revealing how to deal with the horrible black hole in my heart, what to do with the feelings, how to go on. It is a spiritual how-to book showing a path for the feelings. Widow to Widow is the book to read afterwards that deals with the practical aspects of moving forward. But, Unattended Sorrow MUST come first! I keep a copy to send to newly widowed friends.