Twelve Terrible Things

Everyone is warned not to turn the first page of the book because there are some horrible things lurking inside the pages. BUT, there is not a person in the world who can resist and so . . . the nightmare begins. There are twelve horrid things that can and does happen to every kid. You get a nice scrumptious strawberry ice cream cone and are ready to eat it when "oooopsie!" you find it on the floor at your feet. You swear to yourself there is "nothing under the bed . . . " but the tentacles of some strange creature are coming up from under it to get you. And then another one of your greatest nightmares is that dentist. "Say AHHHH . . . " Ugh. Of course there is that gal that cuts your hair. Has anyone ever told you that you look like a dork? Ooooh, here comes grandma and she's looking at those CHEEKS! We don't even want to talk about that evil birthday clown! One of the worst is going to a new school. "This must be our NEW student." Yuk. Then when you're on a long trip your sister is sticking out her tongue at you and your mother says (not too nicely either) "No, we are NOT there yet!" How about that time you had to flush your goldfish down the toilet? Your heart wants to pop out of its chest when you're at the top of an Olympic-sized diving board and someone says, "Come on already . . . JUMP!" Such a living nightmare! You tell the cafeteria lady you don't like gravy, but she doesn't care. And finally your brother sticks his big stinky foot in your face and says, "Smell THIS doofus." This book, using very few words and in very few words is hysterical. It has just about every nightmarish event that can happen in a youngster's life that sends their heart racing or makes them gnash their teeth. The illustrations in this book say it all. Admittedly, there are a few in here that used to set my teeth on edge as a kid. You are warned, don't buy this book or you'll see twelve terrible things . . . that probably happened to you when you were a kid!

We loved this funny book which relies almost entirely on illustrations to deliver its punch. Try to think of the most mortifying things you tried to avoid in your childhood and you're sure to come up with at least one of scenes from TWELVE TERRIBLE THINGS. From the terrifying great-aunt out to pinch your cheeks to the view from atop the high dive, they are all here. Our personal favorite is the clown scene. Frequent readers of our interviews will understand why. Check out our interviews at [.....]. Some of these jokes might zoom past very young readers (and that might be a good thing), but 2nd and 3rd graders will snort with laughter.