True Believers: The Tragic Inner Life of Sports Fans

Back in the nineties I read a fascinating, dead-on article in GQ about Jets fans (of whom I am one). That article was entitled "The Worst Sports Fans in History". Joe had Jets fans pegged, and his current work, much more introspective and comprehensive, gives priviledged access into the mind of a certified sports maniac -- and in so doing -- of ALL us sports maniacs.Being a fan of the Mets, Knicks and Jets, I am in regular need a hug. Joe, in this book, gave me a kick in the face instead. In spite of his disgust for things I love so dearly, he's put together one of the most entertaining and disturbingly honest books on sports fandom. His anecdotes are hilarious, his pain is palpable, and his honesty is refreshing. A breezy read -- I picked it up to read on a business trip, but after flipping a few pages, was done only hours later -- in short, it's going to be a gift to everyone I know. It's not just for sports fans -- though for honest fanatics (not you stinkin' front-runners), this is required reading to be sure. I think it's an especially good read that non-sports fans would get a real kick from. In fact, I think people who don't really understand what it means to be a sports fan will LOVE the humor and insight into what it means to be a fan. That's how accessible and fun his book is.

Joe Queenan has written the ultimate sports fan book. True Believers is dedicated to the real sports fan. Not fans of the Los Angeles Lakers or the New York Yankees, but the fans of downtrodden teams like the Phillies, the Blackhawks, and the Eagles. Fans who know what it's like to suffer through years of torment, wondering if your team was ever going to be good enough to win it all. Queenan grew up in Philadelphia, and he has a life-long commitment to all of his hometown teams. He says that fan support must be based either on where you grew up, or who your father rooted for. No other form of fandom is acceptable to him. Thus, he has had to live through the Phillies blowing a 6.5 game lead with 12 games to go in 1964, the Flyers blowing a 3-1 lead in the playoffs to the New Jersey Devils (with two of the last three games at home), and other heartbreaks. Loving Philadelphia teams is the epitome of heartbreak, the ultimate love-hate relationship.Why should this matter to the rest of us? I will tell you right now that, if you have never followed any sports and think that to do so is the ultimate waste of time, then this book is not for you. First, you will not understand it. Secondly, what little you do understand will only reinforce your already formed beliefs. Unless you have experienced the common bond of watching your team blow the big game, or the big series, or just stink up the league in general, you will not get a lot out of this book. (Ok, maybe if you're a Yankee fan, you'll be able to laugh at these idiots he's talking about).What does this book consist of? Queenan discusses the psychology behind rooting for a team of also-rans. He explores what makes the true sports fan tick. He does this among chapters discussing fair weather fans (those fans who only follow a team when they are good), sports movies (and how most of them are horrible and don't even come close to reflecting reality), sports announcers (both the good and the bad), and misbehaving fans (those idiots in the stands who do the stupidest things and generally annoy the people around them). Some of these chapters are universal, even to Yankees fans, and thus may be enjoyed by everybody. Some (like an entire chapter on the sorry-looking New York Jets) will only mean something to the fan who has been through something similar. All of these chapters, however, share Queenan's sarcastic wit and his extreme commentary. I love the language that Queenan uses and the way he writes, even if sometimes it seems he's using words just to see whether people understand them or not. At times he sounds pompous, but even then he's entertaining.The fair-weather fan chapter is probably the best, as he itemizes all the different types of front-runners there are, from celebrities who must be seen at courtside of Lakers games, to the mainstream folk who just can't bear to suffer along with the true fan, and thus change their favourite team on the drop of a quarter. As he says, su

Humorist Joe Queenan is a true sports fan. No writer could boil down what it means to be a true fan to its very essence, as he does in "True Believers," without having the years of hopes and disappointments of being a loyal follower burned into his very soul. In the book, Queenan puts his lifetime of sports fan agony to very good use, using it as the basis for what is essentially one long rant about fans, both good and bad. His pen is as sharp as ever, and it is delightful to see him use it on such deserving people as front-running fans and slobs who make spectacles of themselves at the stadium.Mostly, however, Queenan ruminates on what it is that can make an otherwise sane, rational person (such as himself) a hopeless maniac on game day. Though he's a Philadelphia fan (Phillies, Eagles, 76ers, Flyers) he speaks enough universal truth that his book can be enjoyed by anyone who is also hopelessly hooked on sports.

As a Detroit Tigers fan(and living in Cleveland, no less)I can understand exactly what Joe Queenan is going through. Yes, I've been alive to see the Tigers win a World Series, but they are and have been for quite a while the laughing stock of baseball. Like Queenan says, why do we like teams if they continually lose and are an embarassment to the sport? I have no idea, but I wear the Old English 'D' on my hat with pride, nonetheless. I was born and raised in Michigan, and three of my senior relatives were Tigers fans, so again, to paraphrase Queenan, I have the geographical acceptance, plus I'm 'carrying the torch'. No matter how much your team infuriates you, you can't give up on them. You just CAN'T. The best part of this overall excellent book is the story on the last page. That made me smile more than anything else he wrote. A perfect story and the embodiment of the idea that hope springs eternal, tomorrow's another day, even the Cubs may win the Series one year. Maybe even the Tigers.

To me, Joe Queenan is the Thomas Poling of contemporary commentary.Let me explain. Tom Poling is a booking agent in Nashville. I first met him through my work; the work relationship, as occasionally happens, developed into a friendship. This was due in large part to the fact that Thomas is a veritable Bartlett's of colorful expressions, many of which I have unabashedly and unashamedly appropriated as my own. Another related factor is that I am unable to complete a conversation with Tom without at some point finding myself on the floor, laughing and unable to catch my breath at some acerbic comment he has made.The same is true of Joe Queenan. Queenan is the anti-Barney, a keen observer of all those things that prick and irritate the human spirit, of those things that drag us down as a species. It is impossible to read anything he writes without experiencing at least a twitch, if not a full-blown seizure, of painful self-recognition. You'll be laughing so hard, however, that you won't care.Queenan's books are either collections of essays or treatises on a particular subject. TRUE BELIEVERS is a treatise dealing with sports fans. If you have absolutely no interest in sports, don't fear; I am not by any definition of the term a "sports fan" (this, only because mud wrestling is not yet considered a sport) but, like most people, I am well acquainted with a multitude of individuals who are. They are all in TRUE BELIEVERS, pinned to its pages like butterflies twitching on a fourth grader's science fair project display. The chapter titles tell it all. They include: "Fans Who Love Too Much", "Fans Who Just Enjoy It", "Fans Who Are Short" (a chapter for the kids) and my personal favorite, the one that I have read verbatim to several formerly close friends, "Fans Who Misbehave."Queenan, in the latter chapter, describes in great detail and with laser-accurate viciousness the escapades of a couple of individuals at a baseball game. You can feel the heat, smell the mix of stale popcorn and rapidly warming beer, and experience the tedium broken by the antics of the people a few rows in front of you. And it is more than hilarious. It is breath-catching, heart-stopping, call-911-I'm-comin'-Elizabeth hilarious. Queenan provides a laugh like this every page or so. TRUE BELIEVERS should probably come with a warning label. You don't want to read it within a half hour or so of consuming a bag of White Castles, one of those new Enchilada Bowls from Taco Bell, or the Reuben Platter at the Tick Tock Diner on Route 3 in Clifton, New Jersey. Your laundress won't appreciate it.TRUE BELIEVERS is for sports fans, the people who live with them, the people who love them, and the people who can't stand them. It is, in other words, the ultimate book for everyone. Very highly recommended. --- Reviewed by Joe Hartlaub