It's really hard to save a guy's life when he keeps running away from you... You might be asking yourself why I'm waving an inflatable penis in the air and screaming at the top of my lungs. If I took time to explain, Declan Moss would get hit by a bus. Let me back up. I didn't ask for this. I was perfectly happy--and perfectly sane--before I was tasked with keeping Declan Moss alive. It was a thankless job until the moment that my panties...