Treating Attachment Abuse

I bought this book to help me manage my anger at my wife. I feel this author hits the nail on the head with his thesis. My synopsis of his theory is that when people feel shamed, they lash out. Understanding this and how to reaffirm to yourself your self worth, helps one to cool down before getting too angry. I bought this book to practice on myself. Now it is actually written for counselors and is a bit heavy with counseling lexicon, ie. "people who have anger problems have an external locus of control" but if you've been to counseling yourself before, it is not a problem. Yes, there are some pitches for other products but if you can "take what you like and leave the rest" it is the most helpful book I have found on the subject. In contrast to the feminist model which blames and shames the angry partner even more, this book does not blame and shame the angry person into socially acceptable behavior (which only exasperates the problem) but helps one to vaccinate oneself from criticism and shame spirals which then enable one to deal with your partner more lovingly. I highly, highly recommend this book.

This is the best book in the literature on treating attachment abuse, specifically domestic violence. The approach emphasizes compassion for self and others as the healing emotion. The bottom line: research indicates this approach has far superior outcome results. Recommend seeing website too