Tiny Little Troubles

Marc Lecard's debut novel was a darkly humorous caper story lovingly titled VINNY'S HEAD. The critical and popular attention garnered by that particular work raised expectations and anticipation for his follow-up effort, the deceptively yet aptly titled TINY LITTLE TROUBLES. It is a pleasure to report that Lecard has met and exceeded those lofty expectations. As with VINNY'S HEAD, TINY LITTLE TROUBLES is filled with rough-and-tumble characters for whom violence is not so much a tool as a knee-jerk reaction. "Restraint" is not part of the operative lexicon. Lecard mines the northern California underbelly in a manner similar to that with which Carl Hiaasen explores the back streets of south Florida without, perhaps, the elitism that has gradually crept into Hiaasen's work. The result is a prose style that alternately has one laughing at turns of phrase while gagging at descriptions, often within the same paragraph. TINY LITTLE TROUBLES is set primarily in the San Francisco area. That city is a place containing marked contrasts, one of the biggest being Aaron Rogell, a brilliant scientist with a start-up company on the verge of leaving him with more money than God. Rogell has created a nanotech innovation that is akin to alchemy: smaller than microscopic robots that can create virtually anything. Rogell, however, has a tragic flaw: despite having a beautiful and loyal wife named Amanda, a new baby and the ability to execute a groundbreaking idea, he is given to wretched sexual excess. The fact that Rogell lives in South San Francisco is both a blessing and a curse, considering his addiction. On the one hand, he is close to the source of virtually anything he can imagine, and even a few things he can't. On the other, well, he can very easily perish in his own desires. And that is just what he is trying to do. Making nightly visits into San Francisco's notoriously seedy Tenderloin District, he is busily indulging himself while his wife thinks he is working. Rogell even has a mistress, a highly paid call girl named Aphrodite who is busily juggling Rogell and two other suitors. It is an erstwhile associate of Aphrodite's, however, the wonderfully named Pablo Clench, who is going to upset the delicate balance that she works so hard to maintain. Clench gives new meaning to the word "lowlife"; when Rogell shows off his new invention to Aphrodite --- the manner in which Rogell wastes its abilities on a demonstration is alone worth the price of admission --- Clench immediately senses the potential and begins what is most accurately described as a hostile takeover. When gentle persuasion fails to work, Rogell is kidnapped and held hostage until he reveals the secret behind his invention. Clench and his associates, however, are cursed with the condition of being clever but not smart. Disaster strikes on two fronts: Rogell's nanobots are quietly unleashed upon an unsuspecting San Francisco. And Amanda? In spite of everything, she wants her husband back and

The "tiny little troubles" of the title are in fact tiny little robots, more accurately `nanobots,' microscopic in size, the creation of one Aaron Rogell. Aaron is a brilliant scientist [actually his wife, Amanda, herself an accomplished defense attorney, proclaims him to be "nearly as smart as he thought he was"] living with his wife and young daughter in a mini-mansion looking out over San Francisco Bay. His company, Rogeletec, has produced a `bot with memory, "like the memory chip in your computer, but much, much smaller . . . . walking memory chips [which] allows them to be programmed for simple functions," able to reproduce virtually anything, including themselves. This in turn would allow a constant supply of new `bots, a work force having no need for unions. When Rogeletec becomes the target of mobsters who see its potential value, all hell breaks loose. Aaron's vulnerability lies in the fact that he has an insatiable sexual appetite, which includes activities with goats, strippers and toothless prostitutes. The novel is peopled with characters including a 6' tall prostitute named Aphrodite Anderson; a strip club manager named Pablo Clench, and his boss, Jimmy Cacapoulos; Rogeletec employees Aleister MacBlister, Philip Melaleuca, and Dan Funk; and assorted thugs whose names and/or aliases are George Patton, Arthur Murray, Patrick "Trick" Fitzpatrick, and some scary guys from a country called Kalimaha [who are, of course, referred to as Kalimahanese]. The book is filled with profanity and dark humor and outrageous situations, with assorted acts of violence sprinkled liberally throughout. The premise is a little off the wall but certainly original. There is a hilarious conclusion which reminded this reader of a French farce, assuming French farces include abundant mayhem. Thoroughly enjoyable.