Time for a Better Marriage

My wife and I followed the program in this insightful book and were able to get back to the feelings we had when we first married. In fact, we are now in a better state than when we first married fourteen years ago! I whole heartedly recommend this book to you to learn, in an interesting and funny way, how to get much more satisfaction out of your marriage or any other relationship.

This workbook is a MUST for all married couples, and can teach anyone good skills of communication, listening, acceptance, and encouragement, which will benefit any inter-personal relationship. Without expensive counseling, couples in marital conflict will find this the "How To" Book from which they can work and learn how to make their marriage succeed. The authors teach you how to choose to stay with your marriage partner, learn to have open dialogue to resolve conflicts, develop self confidence and esteem yourself and each other, and how to show each other that your relationship is important enough to take the time and effort to rebuild it. You will learn that you are not a victim because you always have a choice. The more you accept yourself, the more you will accept your partner and have real expectations. Buy this WorkBook, even if your pertner will not read it. You will get good ideas and gain good communication skills. "You can only change yourself. Even without cooperation a relationship can improve when one person begins to change. One partner's growth and change often provides motivation for the other partner to change."

BOOK REVIEWTime for a Better Marriage: Training in Marriage EnrichmentJon Carlson, PsyD. ABPP & Don Dinkmeyer,Sr. PhD. ABPP Impact Publishers (2003) 15.95 Our field is full of books on how to fix almost anything psychological. Most numerous are those which offer help with relationship and marital difficulties, ranging from the bent, the battered to the broken. They are presented by a series of authors, from the highly qualified and experienced, to those whose degrees suggest questionable origins. Still others rehash (probably without awareness by the authors, unfamiliar with the literature and earlier work in this area dating back over the last 65 years) old ideas as new and creative. Fortunately, the book we explore today was produced by two highly experienced and knowledgeable psychologists with a full awareness of the history and research in the marital field. The present work is a re-release of an earlier effort by the authors. It is not presented as a revised edition, though a check of the referenced works indicate updating. Since I was unfamiliar with the original work, it was not possible for me to indicate new material. The topics and contents of the book are solid, easy to read, easy to follow and replete with good examples, exercises, and guidelines that will serve both the educated and average couples as well. The work is moderately priced, well within the reach of those with modest incomes. For those who wish an enriched approach, the authors suggest a series of videotaped materials and additional self help books. The contents of the first three chapters describe the basis for forming a solid relationship( understanding, encouragement). In chapters 4-7 the focus is on the importance of honesty, openness, appropriate choices and the development of effective communication. These chapters are pretty much the heart of the book, with ample examples, exercises and guidance for developing skill in this area. Chapters 8 and 9 provide guidance in dealing with and resolving conflict. The final chapter provides instruction on maintaining the gains from solving marital dilemmas. As with many of Impact Publishers works, this volume is especially valuable to therapists who assign motivated clients homework and activities which extend into the other 167 hours of the week, following therapy sessions.

This is a must-read for all couples in a committed relationship who'd like to build a stronger, more satisfying marriage. Carlson and Dinkmeyer teach very practical, highly motivating techniques for initiating positive changes that will encourage your mate to respond in a more honest and meaningful way. This book isn't about slick or quick ways to get your partner to behave differently toward you. It's about learning to accept responsibility for your own behavior and realizing you have a choice in the direction your relationship takes. Of course, this means actually making conscious choices about setting and achieving wise marital goals, which the authors acknowledge is tough for most couples. After all, our society is not exactly saturated with great role models for healthy marriages. It's also difficult, when you're angry at your spouse, to pull back and remember that you created the relationship you have now -- and you've got the power to change it. The key, say Carlson and Dinkmeyer, lies in understanding that the skills for a good marriage are learned. So you can start unlearning worthless habits and begin practicing new, more effective, positive ways of relating to each other right now. As a hands-on tutorial this book is clear, comfortably paced, and interesting. It's packed with exercises designed to demonstrate the importance of learning to take risks and avoid ruts in your marriage; to focus on strengths and successes, back up each other's resources, and develop the courage to be imperfect; and above all to seek creative ways of resolving conflict. Best of all, like physical exercise you can incorporate into your daily routine, TIME FOR A BETTER MARRIAGE makes it easy to put a wealth of practical tips to immediate use every day. Carlson and Dinkmeyer are keenly aware of the value of being able to approach big changes in small strides. They advocate no daunting shifts in attitude or behavior, just countless simple ways of creating a healthier environment for your marriage. Activities like a Daily Dialogue, Encouragement and Marriage Meetings, developing a Marriage Mission Statement, keeping a journal, and evaluating your feelings on various issues help promote self-esteem, understanding, and mutual support.This is a very "feeling-oriented" book that focuses on the message of emotions as the energy that powers communication. As anyone who's gotten mired in marital miscommunication knows, when you waste that energy in vague or misleading exchanges with your partner, you sabotage intimacy. Bottom line, there's no way to completely divorce-proof a marriage. But before you conclude you've picked the wrong mate, consider rediscovering your present mate by changing the only person you can change -- yourself. As Carlson and Dinkmeyer point out, the distinction between successful and unsuccessful marriages isn't in the challenges encountered. It's the choices couples make in meeting or avoiding those challenges that make all the difference. This

A well-written, concise help-manual designed for couples to improve their communication skills. The workbook is light-hearted yet packed with helpful hints, exercises and is easily integrated into any communication or marital enrichment seminar. Recommended reading the the marriage and family therapist!