Through the Narrow Gate: A Memoir of Spiritual Discovery

The author is a well-known popular writer on religion (if such a thing exists), but here turns to her own experience in a convent for seven years. At the tender age of 17 Armstrong joined a contemplative order--one not totally cloistered but close enough for the first few years--and attempts to destroy her own ego to allow God to fill her mind and soul. Unfortunately, what happens is what all too often happens in life when one human being is given total authority over another, even with that person's consent--the worst human impulses toward cruelty take over--the desire to inflict on another what has been inflicted on oneself is passed on down the line just as the abused child becomes the abusive parent. In this case the vows of poverty, chastity and obedience translate into senseless restrictions on basic human needs like eating and bathing, ridiculous orders being given in the name of testing obedience, neglect of the health of the young novices, refusal to acknowledge abusive behavior of priests, etc. Despite all this, Armstrong manages to convey the beauty of the religious experience and love of God. I was struck by how similar to eastern religions were the methods used to "seek God"--the denial of bodily needs, the isolation from other human beings, the notion that an individual must let go of the self to find God--all are straight out of Buddhism. Is the concept of the self too highly developed and embedded in the Western man or woman for these methods to work? Does the bodily and mental deprivation do something strange to the self that "creates" the experience of God? Is authentic religious experience only for a select few--because if anyone had a "vocation" as I understood the term back then it was certainly Ms. Armstrong--the intensity of her desire to stay the course was overwhelming. In any event this book is a lot more than a broadside attack on the Catholic church pre-Vatican II. I wish the author had answered a few questions in a post-script--her health problems during these years were certainly real but are unexplained, and she leaves the impression that they were caused by the convent--but I suspect that wasn't totally the case. At the very least she seems to have been lactose intolerant--something the convent didn't cause but unfortunately exacerbated. And it's hard to understand how the order thought it could train her to shut down her mind and question nothing for three years and then send her to Oxford. Readers who can get past feeling angry at the treatment Armstrong received will find much to think about.

Karen Armstrong entered a convent as a teenager in the 60's. While all the tumult of the sexual revolution, the Cold War, the Vietnam War seethed in the outside world, Karen was struggling with her difficult and almost medieval novitiate, her classes at Oxford, where her training as a nun conflicted with the scholastic world, and with her health. While Karen sought to cool the passions and desires of the world and become the perfect nun, her body rebelled and she suffered anorexia, fainting fits which were attributed to her emotions (but were diagnosed as epilepsy much later on.) Meanwhile, she achieved scholastic triumphs at Oxford, but at heavy price.How Karen adjusts to live in the convent, and then to life at Oxford is an amazing story. Her autobiography is unsentimental and honest. This is a fascinating personal story as well as a rare look into a secret world that was forever altered by Vatican II and its reforms.

Karen Armstrong writes of the tribulations she encountered while a nun in England in the 1960's. This book is not a hatchet-job or a racy "true confessions" kind of screed. It is instead a frank, informative, and searing narrative of how the author felt she could no longer continue her vocation in the regimented atmosphere of the convent. I almost felt as if I was reading Thomas Merton's "Seven Storey Mountain" with a "Rewind" button pushed. I highly recommend it.

Through a Narrow Gate is a testament to the personal struggle between feeling the faith and wanting to somehow live it, too. I am impressed with her ability to relive the experience while being fair to both sides and making their decisions and feelings make sense, even when they are directly opposing. The most remarkable thing is her feelings about the modern convents given her struggle and her respect for what was. Her respect is contagious - she gave it to me! She, and her experiences, seem to ratify my own even as mine pale against her story. I recommend it to anyone seriously trying to understand God in their own lives and in their own terms.