Things Just Haven't Been The Same

I borrowed this book from the library after reading another Sachs title, "When No One Understands: . . .". I read through most of it and felt it was an excellent read that provided me with great insight into spousal and parent/child relationships. The book discusses the difficulty of marriage and raising children when there are unresolved issues from either parents past childhood and/or family history. I felt it was highly applicable to my marriage and ordered a copy with the hope that my spouse would read it, gain some insight, and possibly even come to a resolution regarding the past.

This is an eminently practical and insightful book, written with empathy and humor. The overall approach encourages parents to deal with each other from their "true self," and to engage with each other frankly and meaningfully, but without the need to succumb to trendy pscho-jargon. New parents, or any couple expecting a first child, would benefit from a look at this book, and many will find very helpful advice that makes them realize they are not alone! Then they will read it cover to cover. Note that the author assumes a heterosexual couple, but much of the advice will be of use to same sex couples as well.

Since reading Dr. Sachs's THINGS JUST HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME, things have been a lot better for my husband and I. With two boys under the age of three, our marriage has suffered. Yet Dr. Sachs's words of wisdom have been quite helpful to us. He has helped us both to move from blaming (each other and ourselves) to understanding, and, in the process, my husband and I have found ourselves fighting less and compromising more. It is reassuring when someone with his clinical and personal experience validates the vertiginous experience of early parenthood, and, in particular, its impact on marriage. I found myself thinking of all of the people who should get this book, or should have already read it.THINGS JUST HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME reads beautifully, translates complicated psychological theories into real-life language, and, mostly, creates a mood of optimism and hope. I finished the book thinking, "Wow, there's a chance we're really going to get through this, and in better shape than before!"For a thoughtful, interesting, and elevating experience, read THINGS JUST HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME.Jennifer Longley

This book was excellent. Dr. Sachs really addressed what life is like emotionally as a new parent. He delves into the depths of your psyche and describes what is happening to your family dynamics. This is a must read for every couple with a new born baby. This book should be given at every baby shower in America!