The Zen of Listening: Mindful Communication in the Age of Distraction

This book totally transformed the way I listen! Using the techniques from this book: - I no longer have to focus on how I am going to respond. - I acually hear what the person is saying. - I don't experience stress about communicating. People comment that I communicate more effectively now, and all I've changed is how I listen. The book I felt dragged a little in the beginning, but if you just hang in there, you will be well rewarded!

This book was a great read, including lots of highlighting and note taking. Listening is a very important skill, yet it seems to be very undervalued by the general public. The author makes us aware of just how important listening is in every aspect of our lives; from school to business to relationships with those we love.Two of the author's most important concepts were "Mindful listening" and "Getting into the other person's movie." Both of these were a constant theme throughout the book and, if people (myself included) learn these alone, they will become much, much more effective communicators.The author's writing style made me feel as though we were having a personal consultation. Her sincerity comes through very clearly, and I believe having this book in your library will serve as a very valuable resource both for you and for your children, as they can also have access to some very important life skills.

I had the pleasure of meeting Becky Shafir (and her delightful father Paul) at the International Listening Association Convention in March 2001, where she discussed her book _The Zen of Listening_. What her book teaches us is to "do what you're doing" -- not be thinking 10 steps ahead -- because if you're doing that, you're NOT listening. Be present in the moment and you can't help but become a more effective listener. . . not to mention person in general!

I read this book because I wanted to be a better listener, I am not a practicer of Zen, nor do I meditate. The book was very enjoyable, and it did a great job of teaching bigger picture items with regards to leading a life in which you focus on listening and also teaching simple mechanics of how to be a better listener. Unlike many of the modern blended self-help / spirituality books that are available, the author does a very good job of making crisply clear points and avoiding repetition. The chapters focus on several clear areas, such as listening to yourself as you speak, focusing on listening to others, listening in difficult situations, speaking in a way which encourages listening and methods to increase the out put of your listening through better memory. I found the chapters that dealt with techniques on how to focus better on what others are saying to be very benneficial. The chapter on how to speak in a way to encourage listening was very helpful. There might be better individual books on all of those subjects, however, it is difficult to imagine an author doing a better job of blending the topics together and presenting them in such a well written manner. Her style is very clear, to the point that the words are as insightful as the message that she is telling us, almost as if she is sitting nearby as you read, calmly explaining the book to you.

This is a thoughtful and insightful book clearly written by an expert. Ever since I read it, I have been listening ten times better and not having to work at it. You get the feeling Ms. Shafir practices what she preaches, always a nice vibration to get from an author. And she's good explainer -- I found the concepts of "mindful listening" and getting into the "movie" of the person you're listening to neatly built a bridge from abstract concept to useful idea. The author not only shows us the "what" but also the all-important "why" -- the story on page 41 of the woman who regains her hearing after years of deafness tells it better than any preaching could. While the title of the book is somewhat esoteric, I clearly saw the relationship between Zen and listening. When you come right down to it, they both work best if you can "just let it happen." Which is harder to do than it sounds -- that's why we need this book.