The Wounded Heart

I read this book years ago and it helped open up the understanding of how the sexual abuse I had went through as a young teen affected everything in my life from relationships to decisions. I thought I had "put it all in the past" and "was pressing forward" but this book helped me to see that the pain, shame, and defenses I had put up were all part of my every day life. Once I was able to see that, I then could go forward towards true and complete healing. The changes that were brought about from that were amazing and obvious to those around me. I'm now having more women enter my life who have been sexually abused and I am back to purchasing this book for their use. For some, the book will be sufficient. For others, it will be as it was for me - a stepping stone to getting more help. It's a painful process but well worth the freedom at the end and Dan Allender does a wonderful job in his book in helping us toward that freedom.

This is a great book for the wounded heart. If you have been sexually abused, or know someone who has been sexually abused then this is a must read book. Dr. Dan has the reader go into a spiritual journey into the heart and helps him/her go onto the pathway to healing. I'm a pastor and I would recommend this book to anyone who knows (or if you have been an abuse victim), to help them (or you) understand what has happened to their family, friend, or loved one; to know that the incident was not your fault, no matter what happened. Coming from my spouse who is a victim, sometimes it's hard to know what to say or understand what has happened, but this book has been a welcomed tool with the necessary focus, on Christ, to move forward in life and to break the chains of bondage, depression, anxiety, and shame.

"The Wounded Heart" is a classic text on the understanding and treatment of the sexual abuse victim. Dan Allender writes from a foundation of biblical insight, psychological research, and counseling experience. Allender is quick to defend abuse victims and to help them to understand that they were not guilty for their abuse. At the same time, he refuses to leave the victim a victim. Instead, "The Wounded Heart" provides the spiritual diagnostic categories necessary to help victims move to victors by exploring how they may have responded to the abuse in less-than- healthy and less-than-godly ways. He labels these responses "sinful relational styles"--learned, self-protective patterns that victims choose in order to handle life self-sufficiently. Because of Allender's emphasis on sinful relational styles, victims looking for empathy and therapists wanting training in empathic responses may be disappointed. Diane Langberg's "On the Threshold of Hope" and "Counseling Victims of Sexual Abuse" offer more in this area of "sufferology." Still, for biblical insight into the heart issues surrounding sexual abuse, "The Wounded Heart" provides the healing cure. Reviewer: Dr. Robert W. Kellemen is the author of "Soul Physicians: A Theology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction," "Spiritual Friends: A Methodology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction," and the forthcoming "Sacred Companions: A History of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction."

I read The Wounded Heart and its workbook six years ago before I ever became a Christian, never imagining the impact these books would have on my life. Now I conduct Wounded Heart Workbook studies at my church. Dr. Allender understands and is sensitive to the dilemas and pain victims face in adult-hood and offers a sensible real-life approach to healing. While the self discovery always involves pain and grieving, the issues are handled with love and fresh creativity. Each time I go through a study, I uncover deeper levels of understanding my past and greater hope to face the future whole and intact. I've also developed friendships and trust with other victims that I will treasure for all time. We are finding that spouses are now reading the book and joining our studies also, sparking renewed tenderness and communication in stressed marriages. Now I am free to laugh harder, love deeper, and care more. Thank you Dr. Allender!

I am a Christian pastoral counselor and have used both the workbook and book with a number of sexual abuse survivors both male and female.It is an excellent resource for those who want to move out of the "victim" mode. Dan Allender provides the tools to help individuals to live independently of the suffering of past.What makes this material unique is that it can also be used with males. Previously, there has been real lack of usable material for them. But this is no longer the case.The books can be used in both a group setting as well as with individuals, as I have done.Highly recommended!