The Way of Transition

This is a engrossing book about what happens when a person who has made a career out of understanding "transitions" (and helping other people and organizations through times of transition) comes face to face with a gigantic transition. As Bridges dealt with the death of his wife and the concomitant end of a lengthy marriage, he found himself wondering if he really understood transitions at all. This book is the story of how he navigated that period in his life, how he achieved a new understanding of everything that had gone before, and what it has meant to him since. There is a lot going on in this book. On one level, it is the story of a marriage. On another level, it is the story of how truly immersing oneself in the transitions one encounters can deepen a person's relationship both to the self and to the personal history that has created that self. And then there is the general philosophical musing about how a person can open himself to the possibilities that come with major life changes. It's not a book of ideas about what to do (for that, the same author has a couple of other books on transition), but instead it's a deeply personal reflection on the meaning of life and life's transitions. Highly recommended for anyone who is of a contemplative turn of mind.

I read Bridges' "Transitions" about four years ago, when I had just been laid off unexpectedly from my job, and I found it extremely helpful and reassuring. So I bought this book mostly out of curiosity how Bridges himself would handle one of life's most painful transitions. He begins by alternating between an autobiographical account of his wife's final illness and death, and more theoretical chapters discussing transitions in general. But as the story continues with his stunned reaction to her death, and his attempts to embark on the next phase of his life, the personal and the theoretical merge. I was impressed by his honesty -- he's candid about his self-doubts, about himself and his late wife (warts and all), and about the joys and struggles in their 37-year marriage. This made his story all the more compelling by showing him not as the all-knowing "expert," but as someone who's gained his expertise from hard-won personal experience. As he points out repeatedly, life changes don't follow a neat, predictable pattern; but if we embrace the process of transition and are open to what it brings, everything DOES work out eventually (his tentative, bumbling attempts at dating a casual acquaintance develop into love and a second marriage). The book is a fascinating story, but along the way I learned a great deal about life transitions in general (every parent should read his remarks about planning your children's lives!). And at a time when we in the US have just gone through a painful transition ourselves, and are struggling to redefine ourselves and our role in the world, I found his remarks surprisingly relevant on a larger scale too.

Bridges work is valuable from so many perspectives. Reading it is embarking on a journey through the lens of a expert in transition. Or one can say an ordinary man touched by a deep loss, or a friend reaching out to others by sharing his pain, or as a mentor/healer allowing others to re-live his personal journey and in doing so, discover and make new meanings on their own journey. As a Ph.D. student whose focus of research and future dissertation will be on career crisis, transition and renewal, Bridges work further validates my own personal/professional transitions as journeys of learning and discovery, and openness to the "neutral zone". One of the very best books I have read in this subject area.

My wife recently passed away after a three year battle with breast cancer. I bought this book because I'd read Bill Bridges' earlier books and found them insightful and refreshing. But I was totally unprepared for my personal connection to this particular book, which was written after Bill lost his wife through an almost identical struggle with cancer. It was as if he was telling my story and then helping me to both get through my own deep sadness and make some sense out of the painful process of mourning and grieving. This book does deal with transitions but it deals with much more and does so with great openness, sensitivity, and wisdom. I strongly recommend it to anyone dealing with the process of grief for the loss of a loved one. I learned far more from this book than I learned from any of the many books specifically written on that subject.

If you have read any of his earlier work, you already know of Bill Bridges' honest, witty and compelling style. It is his generosity and wisdom that are at the heart of this, his newest book. More than 3-years ago, the pending and eventual death of his wife, Mondi, called him to reexamine every aspect of his 25+ years of experience helping thousands deal with transition. This deeply emotional time also afforded him the opportunity to explore in detail his 37-year relationship with Mondi. His heartfelt descriptions of the trauma serve as an opening for him to share how he came to know himself and his wife in very honest ways. He also is able to tell of his renewal...his new love and second wife Susan. Interspersed with the touching narrative, Bill revisits his thoughts about how transition holds out the promise of renewal. This book made me cry, allowed me to laugh and touched me deeply.It is difficult to imagine him giving the world a more honest, touching, and thoughtful gift.