The War Between the State: Northern California vs. Southern California

This isn't so much a "book" as it is a 155-page collection of quotes. But you know what? They're quality quotes -- funny, insightful, revealing one-liners about NorCal and SoCal that are, more often than not, true. Examples: - "There is always something so delightfully real about what is phony in Los Angeles. And something so phony about what is real. A sort of disreputable senility." - "No man could find a better spot on Earth, if only he had some intelligent person to talk to. Los Angeles is a waxworks museum. Everything looks real, then you notice it's a fairly good replica, which, however, never fools you." - "LA is like Vegas -- but the losers stay in town." - "Take an opium eater's dream to Los Angeles, and they will realize it for you: the more it costs, the more they will believe in it." - "Los Angeles is one of the most secret cities I've ever been to. It seems all sunny and open and candid, but it's not. Try to find a friend. Try to find a scene. Try to get comfortable if you're from out of town. Everything happens in living rooms or cars." - "Hollywood: A place where you spend more than you make, on things you don't need, to impress people you don't like." - "San Francisco is the only city that goes down on itself." - "In San Francisco, a mixed marriage is a man and a woman." - "San Francisco is the center of the known universe; just ask any of us who live here." - "The moral penal colony of the world." - "Here, Halloween is redundant." - "Berkeley: a town in which half the people are seeking to overthrow the federal government while the other half are seeking the perfect croissant." - "San Franciscians like to have fun, and the natives are sexier. And less mummified. Less Botox, collagen, implants and fewer tsunamis of tucks than you find in LA. Also, the girls have shapelier legs from walking up and down those hills." LA, SF, the East Bay, Hollywood, the Valley, and even New York all get their own chapters, but basically, the morals of the story are: 1. NorCal is a place for narcissistic liberal weirdos with a one-way hatred towards SoCal. 2. SoCal is a smog-infested metropolitan mess populated by fake, uninteresting morons who exhaust their mental and financial resources pursuing image, appearances, and youth. Nothing you didn't know before, right? Sure, but it's fun to hear the truth delivered in short, sharp jabs, and it still makes for a good hour or two of educational entertainment. And give the author credit for being first to tackle the subject matter. I might have given it 5 stars if the price were more proportional to the effort. $17's kinda steep for a big cut-and-paste job. PS - NorCal rules.

As an historian and author of SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA MISCELLANY... I found this book to be a witty commentary echoing the journalistic tradition of Ambrose Bierce. It is a must-read for Californians! The pages of this book lay down the unspoken laws, that, which residents have always known...The South was never defeated, not in Southern California!