The Verbally Abusive Man - Can He Change?: A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go

This book was helpful and informative. It focuses alot on writing an agreement with your abusive husband to hopefully change the abuse that takes place. If you are planning on staying and trying to work it out with your abusive partner this would be a great resource. If you are done with the abuse and can no longer tolerate sticking around this still will probably help you understand what you went through as it explains verbal abuse. That being said. Sometimes it justifies his abuse and says he had a terrible father figure and therefore doesn't understand what he is doing. I am sure his horrible and selfish father are to blame but, that is no excuse for his abusive behavior. It may not be his fault but it is his responsibility to change. Everyone has had horrible things happen to them. We must each make a conscious decision to do better and not treat others in the horrific way we were treated. I am glad I read this book. Every counselor, therapist, police officer, judge and anyone else who may work with domestic abuse victims should read this book. We need everyone to be more knowledgeable about this kind of abuse so we as a society can put an end to it and not just be oblivious to it. If you are a Verbally abusive man and you are willing to do the hard work to change this book could be a great resource

A must read book perhaps adding on how to prepare to leave a relationship slowly. Dealing with abuse is painful and tips on how to prepare carefully would be most helpful.

I read this book and presented the "Agreement" to my husband about one month ago. First off - It really got his attention! He was almost speechless for a few days! It has made a remarkable difference in the tone around our house. He read about half the book and is now reading "Controlling People" also by Patricia Evans. He admitted that he has done "some of that and doesn't want to do it anymore." The Verbal Abuse Level is down by about 75 % or so! Not only has he stopped most of his verbal abuse, but I've stopped tolerating it, so I'm feeling better about that. I know this isn't all that needs to be done to heal our relationship. I do believe it is a major beginning in tackling the behaviors that have caused a great deal of pain in our relationship. I recommend this book to anyone willing to do the work and follow through with the agreement!

This book is amazing in how true to the real life situation of verbal abuse it is. All I have to do after hearing my husband plead that he is changing is read a chapter or two of this book and I realize he is not changing at all. Ms. Evans tells us how to determine whether or not all of the criteria for change are being met as well as gently guides us to a deeper understanding of verbal abuse through real-life examples and well structured chapters.

Thank God for Patricia Evans. I began by reading her previous book: The Verbally Abusive Relationship then found this latest one. Both took me through the leaving of my husband with a relative comfort that I was doing the right thing. I carried them around like a bible that I would consult as I would a therapist. A TRUE emotional life saver!!!!!

The book is an in-depth look at what verbal and emotional abuse is. Working as a psychotherapist myself I would recommend this book to clients in these type of relationships. Also it was fascinating what type of situations Evans even labeled as abuse, situations I once didn't feel were abusive I now see are, for example even innocent joking can be abusive depending on context and situation. The book really helps the reader evaluate their own relationship and helps differentiate between what is abuse and what is not.