The Velveteen Principles for Women: Shatter the Myth of Perfection and Embrace All That You Really Are

I received "The Velveteen Rabbit" as a gift when graduating @ the undergraduate level. Many years later as a practitioner & a faculty member, I used it to remind my students about"being real". Then, a former student sent me "The Velveteen Principles". I've used it at the graduate and undergraduate levels as a means to look at what really is important, among many other issues. One graduate student came back with "The Velveteen Principles for Women" and kept the "principles" in mind while working with groups of adolescence young women. The author, Toni Raiten-D'Antoni,was gracious and supportive when students contacted her about her book. I believe this book is a book for beginnings, but is also important for many other times in our lives. Simple does not only mean beginnings. Simple is something we seem to forget time after time. My hat is off to Toni Raiten-D'Antoni.

This was a gift for a special friend. She read a preview on it and wanted to read more on it. She said she enjoyed the book. She said sometimes we just have to be REAL!

An excellent book you will want to keep out and re-read. Applicable real-life tools you can use.

From the very first chapter, I was so glad to have picked up a copy of The Velveteen Principles for Women. This is an important book for women of all ages and all walks of life -- it is written in a way that can surely speak to the questions and confusion that each of us experience. Toni Raiten-D'Antonio's writing is simple to understand and the book is filled with humor and insight into many common problems. I have found so much comfort in The Velveteen Principles for Women, and learned a great deal from the unique strategies and new ways to rethink trouble spots. While some other "self-help" books seem preachy and touchy-feely, this one is terrifically smart and extremely practical. The Velveteen Principles is a must-read! I cannot recommend it more highly.

I picked up this book by chance at BEA, and discovered it really defied all my expectations. This book does not give you permission to lower your standards or fail to meet your goals--rather, it encourages you to make your OWN standards and make sure the goals you're aiming for are truly YOURS. It allows women to take some time out of their daily care-giving routines to nurture themselves. I find myself returning to this book often and recognizing behavior and thought patterns that severely limit my joy: "I should lose weight; these extra pounds are so embarrassing. My skin should be tanned and free of blemishes; I feel hideous and shouldn't go outside. I shouldn't make any demands or act emotional in front of my boyfriend, or he won't want me." Should, should, should. NOT the Real me! The super-ego can be a wonderful thing; it helps regulate our own selfish desires so we can get along smoothly in society. But sometimes, in the quest for generic perfection (which doesn't really exist) we girls forget to keep it real, and our inner critic keeps insisting we have to twist ourselves into a pretzel because our Real, imperfect selves aren't worthy of love. This book shows us how to stop worrying about other peoples' expectations, and to redefine our own. I'm a happier person for reading this book, and very grateful to Raiten-D'Antonio for putting down on paper what must be racing through millions of women's minds. Velveteen Principles for Women is written in a tone so supportive, plain, and full of common sense, that upon reading it, it's almost impossible to deny that perfection is a myth, and Reality can be extremely satisfying. I recommend this book to anyone, especially to men who wish to better understand a woman's experience. I'll be sending copies to all my close friends and female relatives.