The Truth about My Bat Mitzvah

For most children, cultural and religious identity is clear-cut; they are what their parents are. But for children of interreligious or multicultural families, it can be a bit confusing, especially if the backgrounds of the parents are seemingly at odds. In THE TRUTH ABOUT MY BAT MITZVAH, Nora Raleigh Baskin explores the issue of identity through the story of 12-year-old Caroline. Caroline's father is Christian and her mother is Jewish. In their home they observe both Christian and Jewish holidays but pay slightly more attention to the Christian ones. Caroline's best friend Rachel, who is Jewish, has spent the past year studying for her bat mitzvah. Caroline has been helping her plan the party that comes after the synagogue ritual. She is happy for Rachel as this major milestone approaches and is not overly concerned with the fact that her family isn't just one religion or another. But when her nana, her mother's mother, with whom she was very close, dies, this delicate balance is upset. Her grandfather gives her one of her grandmother's necklaces, a star of David on a thin chain, and this piece of jewelry becomes a symbol --- not only of her mother's family's faith, but also of her own struggle to understand who she is, what she believes and how she will express herself. As she learns more about her grandparents and parents and their religious beliefs and cultural identification, Caroline begins to, for the first time, really feel herself to be Jewish. She is conflicted, though; she doesn't want to be disloyal to her father, and her beliefs are less developed than Rachel's are. While wrestling with these ideas and emotions, she is still mourning the loss of her grandmother and navigating the complicated world of junior high. Baskin's story is thoughtful, touching and nicely written. Caroline is a very likable narrator --- smart and honest, sensitive and resilient. Although this is a short novel, the author packs in a lot of important and compelling ideas without treating any of them either too lightly or with a dour seriousness. Caroline contemplates having a bat mitzvah of her own: Would it have made her grandmother proud? What would her father think? Is it too late for her to claim a Jewish identity? How will she deal with discrimination? What is it that she believes, really? In THE TRUTH ABOUT MY BAT MITZVAH, readers will find complex issues illuminated. And while there are no easy answers, this is simply a great story. --- Reviewed by Sarah Rachel Egelman

The death of her beloved grandmother propels 12-year-old Caroline into a few months of soul-searching and confusion over her Jewish identity. She also grapples with many age appropriate issues besides her nana's death: her friendship with BFF Rachel, peer pressure from a mean, popular girl, and a changing body. But the emotional core of her story comes from her struggle with her spiritual identity. Caroline isn't sure who she is or who she wants to be. The story begins at her nana's funeral. Her poppy gives her a special gift-- her nana's Star of David necklace. Caroline takes the necklace, but is uncomfortable wearing it because her family is interfaith and secular. She fears hurting her parents, and is rather embarrassed to admit to her busy physician mother that she suddenly has an interest in being Jewish. The novel progresses quite realistically, from the day Caroline decides to stay home from school on Yom Kippur (feeling foolish, since she doesn't know what the holiday means), through some yearnings for a bat mitzvah like her best friend is planning, to sticking up for that friend when another girl makes a snide comment about Jews. Like an older version of Confessions of a Closet Catholic, the author has created a sincere, emotional novel about a confused girl (6th grader this time) who questions her place in the world. Baskin has chosen to keep all of Caroline's questioning internal, which is reasonable since the character has such a compliant personality. However, readers may become frustrated as Caroline asks no questions out loud, nor does she confront her parents with her confusion about how it is that her grandparents are so Jewish while her own family ignores all aspects of the religion. Her internal dialogue is delineated by italicized type. At one point she silently states, "Mom, I want to be Jewish too. Like you. I want to know funny little Yiddish words. Like Nana and Pappy. I want to know what you do on Yom Kippur. Like Rachel. I need a bat mitzvah." Caroline's declaration is full of heart and tender passion. The real strength of its heart comes through the novel's intermittent flashbacks, where we see Nana and Caroline together. This relationship is much more satisfying than Caroline's bond with her busy mother with whom she chooses not to share her deepest feelings. By the end of the novel she voices her true feelings and says that she is indeed Jewish. "Because my mother is Jewish, I become a bat mitzvah when I turn twelve. Automatically. I don't have to do anything. Just be me. My aunt Gert told me that." This proclamation will likely motivate lively discussion! All in all, the strength of this book is in the journey that many young people will identify with as they ask themselves these same questions. As Caroline so eloquently says about her heritage, "It was mine if I wanted, like a gift that someone gave me a long time ago that I forgot to open." Reviewed by Lisa Silverman

I loved The Truth About My Bat Mitzvah! It resonated within me as a parent, educator, cantor, and woman. I could relate to the preteen angst ridden years and the search for Jewish identity in a world where there are so many choices, so many intermarried families finding their way, and so many children searching for something bigger to hold on to. This book opens up the old wounds for all of us as teenagers and heals us with the hope and security that Caroline finally finds as she embraces the tradition of her beloved grandmother and makes it her own. I would encourage sisterhood reading groups to use this as a great conversation on how to motivate our youth to embrace their Jewish heritage. I would also encourage any parent to read this and share it with their daughter- it may just open up the private and passionate world that this book clearly navigates so beautifully.

getting a 12 year old to read can be difficult- but this book, like other books by the same author, is aimed right for them- speaks the language they do, puts the characters in the situations they find themselves in, and offers a little clarity is the murky teenage world they live in- don't think they make them anymore, but reminds me of the after schools specials we used to watch when we were that age.....dates me I know- enjoyable book, my 12 year old (son and not Jewish) enjoyed it and it was a perfect fit what with all the Bar/Bat Mitvahs going on this school year-I recommend it for your own child or as a gift for another child