The Tender Bar: A Memoir

I absolutely loved this book! Beautiful coming of age story and how the absence of his father affected a young boy! I read about 30 books a month and this is a real standout!

I ordered this after reading ‘The Glass Castle’ by Jeannette Walls. I was looking for a similar memoir and ‘The Tender Bar’ did NOT disappoint. I brought it to work with me because I didn’t want to put it down. I grew so attached to the characters and the bar. I felt like I was a regular there as well. This will definitely be added to the list of books I re-read over the years.

Would read again

Simply one of the best books I've read in a long time. Although it's about a bar and drinking is involved, the book is not really a "drinking book" as much as it is about a boy's story growing into a man without a single, consistent father figure. I'd put this book in the same category as The Risk Pool by Richard Russo, another heatfelt, coming-to-age type book about a strained father-son dynamic. The writing style is poetic yet down-to-earth, the author is very insightful, and the book is just full of heart. It's a beautiful tribute to his mother as well as a voyeuristic peek into family dysfunction and the sanitationally-challenged conditions some people grow up in. Just a great book all around, can't recommend it enough.

The Tender Bar by J.R. Moehringer tells a story about relationships and about what is worth wanting and all that is in between. It is simple, deep, and honest and even sometimes breathtaking in its earnestness to capture what makes us human, tender, fallible, and whole. I was stunned at times by both its spontaneous humor and pathos and found myself laughing out loud in public places while reading this memoir as well as suddenly welling up with tears with yet the turn of another page. There is a depth that caught me off guard, everytime. This is one of those books that I will carry with me in my heart and in my head for a long time to come and I have not felt that way about a story in a very, very long time.

Take one part CHARMING BILLY, a dash of Frank McCourt, add a shot of "Cheers," serve straight up, and you'll have the charming concoction that is THE TENDER BAR. J.R. Moehringer fondly reflects on his youth, however misspent, within the cooling shadows of the town's local bar. In Manhasset, the place to go was Dickens (later renamed Publicans) on Plandome Road. Like the pubs of old, it was the place to celebrate, commiserate and pontificate. Sooner or later, everyone wound up at its door, thanks largely to its kind and commanding owner, Steve. In the mid-seventies, J.R. Moehringer was an adolescent badly in need of a father figure. His dedicated mother worked as many as three jobs to keep them on their feet. His grandparents were concerned but somewhat distant; his grandfather was downright abusive to everyone except little J.R., who was so named after his father, a radio disc jockey who has little to do with his son. Moehringer listens to his late-night radio broadcasts and refers to him only as "The Voice," a far away, unknowable being who flits in and out of his young son's life only briefly. When he and his mother move to Arizona for better prospects and to be near their cousins, he finds himself lonelier than ever. His mother decides to send him back to his grandparents in Manhasset for the summer, and soon he gets his first taste of life around the bar. His Uncle Charlie, at his mother's request, starts taking little J.R. with him on excursions to the beach and to ball games, all of which culminate with a visit to "the Bar." Finally, he finds what he has been looking for --- a family, albeit an unconventional one. Who wouldn't want to glean all he can from guys named Bobo, Joey D. and Colt? At long last, Moehringer feels as if he belongs somewhere; rather than bemoan his absent father, he finds many other men --- and in essence, the bar itself --- who step into the role of father for him. Poignant and heartfelt, with just the right amount of sentimentality, THE TENDER BAR is an absorbing read that goes down nice and easy. Moehringer skillfully recreates life at the local bar and the colorful characters inside as a sort of celebration, almost memorializing a part of American life that doesn't exist the way it used to --- a sort of modern-day A CLEAN, WELL-LIGHTED PLACE for the 20th/21st century, while also serving as a homage to the powerful love between a mother and son, struggling to get by but still managing to enjoy a "Happy Hour" now and then. --- Reviewed by Bronwyn Miller

Generally, I like to stay away from nonfiction it usually bores me. Fortunately I did not stay away from this book. It was amazing! This book will stay with me for a long time, with its humor and its tragedy. As soon as I finished this book I shoved it into my mothers hands and said read this, she loved it just as much as I. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone interested in a great story this is wonderfully written.

Just finished reading 'The Tender Bar'. "Wow" is not a strong enough word for this insight into humanity. Maybe because of my friendship with McGraw, my growing up in taverns in southern Illinois, my over thirty years of international bartending and my over 5,000 Beverage/Literature library I might be a little more inclined to like this work that uses a drinking establishment as a vehicle to tell a story of growing up. Moehringer reminds me of Pete Hamil, Art Buchwald and Malichi McCourt but with a more modern honesty for putting his gonads and family disruptions on the bar for all to see. Hopefully in another book my long list of questions about what happened to the great folks in his story will be answered. Boy, did this old St. Louis bartender identify with Uncle Charlie. If you are in the liquor industry or have ever been associated with saloons you will have one of your best reads in many, many years. Thanks J.R., I'm waiting for your next books.