The Tao of Dying: A Guide to Caring

I found this book with black and white photographs of the dying; old and young; and caregivers -- to be beautiful; but perhaps beautiful is not even the right word. wise beyond the words even though the words were used. i found it to be tao. "flexibility makes no sense until you know the dangers of rigidity laughter seems foolish until you know the dangers of seriousness. touching is rarely considered until you know the dangers of distancing. allowing has the appearance of uselessness until you know the dangers of controlling. the soft overpowers the hard. the slow outdistances the fast. let those who question, question." and 163 more pages of meaningful life and meaningful death...for caregivers who care for people without trying to change or cure them --- "wei wu wei" -- "doing by not doing" accepting people, things, and processes for what they are without trying to maniupulate, alter, or control them

I found this book at the hospice where my mother died just two days ago and immediately began recommending it to anyone who would listen. Being a practicing Buddhist familiar with the Tao Te Ching, it spoke to me immediately, echoing my "allowing" attude toward my mother's impending death. This book reaffirmed my intention to make my mother as comfortable as possible while not struggling with events which cannot be stopped. When my mother's nurses and friends commented on my strength and balance during this difficult time, I pointed them toward this book.