The Strong-Willed Child: Birth Through Adolescence

I came across this site because I just recommended this book to another parent. I feel I should write a review of this book even though I read it in the early 1990's, some time ago, exactly because it has been some time ago and I can tell you how I believe it has effected our lives. I had a child who witnessed trauma in our family life and we were now a single parent household. As a result she was acting out in pain and frustration many times, acquiring many habits that would be very detrimental in her adult life and in all her relationships. She had learned how to be very manipulative in order to get what she wanted and do what she wanted. I had tried many forms of discipline as she would act up in a manner that I knew if I did not address RIGHT NOW, it would be hell on earth for me as she grew older and for her the rest of her life. I had even tried spanking at times, but it was not effective, so I ceased before long. At the time a friend gave me this book, she was spending about 50% of her home life in her room with 'Time Outs', at times with me holding on to the door handle in order to keep her from leaving. Obviously not effective either. I was at my wit's end. I have read book after book, had gone into counseling, had taken classes. The child was 9 years old at this point. I read Dr. Dobson's book, applied his recommendations which included what ended up being only two properly applied spankings (never in anger), and became the calm head of the household. Boom. Night and Day. It only took two weeks for her to realize that I was not relinquishing this new control I discovered and though there were still struggles and much testing my resolve, within 3 months I had a respectful child who was now open to learning proper communication and relationship habits. I listened to her, and she listened to me. This is not to say everything was perfect, and that she was a perfect angel, oh not at all. There were some definite activities that needed discipline. But she never got into severe trouble, even when her peers tempted her, because there was mutual respect in our house. If she did something wrong, there were consequences to pay, just like in Life for adults. I credit this book for my 30 some yr old's daughter and my very good relationship to this day. I strongly recommend parents to read it and see if it works for them

Most people who reviewed this book gave it 1 star or 5. Quite an extreme. I was amazed to read the negative reviews for this book. I almost wonder if the people who had a negative response actually read it or did they get so worked up about the suggestion of spankings they couldn't see past that. This is not a book about BEATING your children into submission, and it's not about whoever is bigger wins. This book gives parents encouragement to set rules and to expect RESPECT from their children. It's about DISCIPLINE which does not = spanking. Spanking is suggested as a last resort not the 1st and only option. Society was not as permssive when we were growing up as it is now and look at the decline of our young ones. Our generation had a lot more respect for authority than children do today. Dr Dobson is trying to help us see that permissiveness breeds lack of respect. I have found this book very helpful. He may not be politically correct by today's standards but I don't want to raise my children by today's standards.

This is an excellent book on parenting! I have found that the suggestions Dr Dobson has made work wonderfully with my 3 year old son. Dr Dobson seems to have a wonderful understanding of children and what makes them tick. I also sense his tremendous love of children. He teaches us to guide the child in a way that they will learn self control. After all, isn't that what it's all about- to learn to control our sinful impulses. He also warns us AGAINST disciplining our children in anger. We should instead be stern disciplinarians while protecting their spirits. (that is their self-esteem and self worth) In closing, Dr Dobson admittedly did not originate the parenting principles of this book, they are from the bible.

We have three beautiful children 2,4, and 6. My wife and I always ask the questions: Are we raising are children correctly? How come it takes screaming to get the kids to do something? Why does the simplest task seem like a production? Dr. Dobson has the answers, we've been using his approach for over 2 month now and are family has become closer. It doesn't take 30 minutes to get them to bed anymore, we setup bedtime rules and the kids follow those rules. Why, because we follow through with our threats, you must follow through. We have set up lots of rules in the past but know are rules are followed. Simple rules: No Hitting, No name calling, listen to your mother and father, bedtime is 8pm. Its a great book with great stories and the stories hit home.

I consider this book to be wonderful and would recommend it to any person. It gives you the confidence you lack because of today's worldly views on how they think our children should be raised. Our Bibles teach us the ways to raise our children, recommend reading Proverbs. Mr. Dobson follows this in his book and helps us parents to know that we aren't the only parent's experiencing this. After reading his book I have had great success with my two-year-old son. I don't feel all alone or like I am a failure in being the only mother of a strong-willed child anymore. It's helped me to know this is normal and given me better confidence in setting and sticking with our rules.